Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Saving Both Barrels For Captain Farrell

I've decided I don't like Marian Hossa.  I never blamed him for leaving Hockeytown for the starched collars and wine coolers of Chicago.  Well, I did because I'm me and I'm always looking for someone to blame for something.  But, I kind of understood it.  Our man with the plan Tick Tock made his choice and Gary wouldn't let us keep them both, so...it's history.

I don't like him now, though. Not one bit.  

I didn't like the goal celebration Wednesday.  The Superman thing with the mouth wide open, yes...say it.  That's ok though.  Not full-on hate.  Just a lot of bit of dislike.

And you know I've never liked Kane. Ever. He's Corey Perry with talent. I don't like Joel Quenneville because his mustache is dumb and he was a Dive then a Blue and now a Hawk and that's a toxic combination, like mixing baby shit with Blue Moon and Thai food.  

I don't like the song, or the arena or that fact that during the National Anthem people are not just screaming (which is ok but not recommended), but they're chatting and looking all over the place. Hats on.  Texting. Eating things.  

I can't stand the White Sox.  I know that AJ Pierzdouchebag isn't there anymore and Ozzie Guillen is producing Nicaraguan porn.  So, they're gone but still...

Not a fan of Great Lakes, either.  I went to boot camp there and there was this mean bastard of a Chief who didn't like me. He picked on me and made me sad.  Naturally, I like him now. But back then he put underwear on my head and made me march around and chant things.  

I hated Michael Jordan and loved it when Bill Laimbeer gave him bad visions.  I loved that rivalry until it wasn't one then I stopped watching the NBA, kind of like how I don't post anything when the Wings lose.  Weird.

It's desperation time.  Today is critical, just like the last month has been critical. Every night.  From what I've read, the Wings were...tired.  That's why they came out looking strong like bull in the first period then went fetal the final two.  Ok.  Well, Gary's given them plenty of rest.  And then there's gonna be a lot more.  But rest won't matter a bit if they lose today because there is no way baby Jesus lets us win this thing down 0-2.  That's just science.  

There is whiskey in that there jar.  It's important that it flows. Freely.  Often.  

It's a Live Blog bitches.  LGRW.  12 to 12. 

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Comments

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Trish's avatar

I think Toews is the only guy on this team that I can respect.  We need to beat them today.

LGRW

Posted by Trish from Tampa/Clearwater FL on 05/18/13 at 09:10 AM ET

Trish's avatar

Posted by Trish from Tampa/Clearwater FL on 05/18/13 at 09:14 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

It’s a Live Blog bitches.  LGRW.  12 to 12.


An early Playoff LB. Thanks Chief, for getting this up extra early.

Let’s Roll.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/18/13 at 09:22 AM ET

Itrusteddrrahmani's avatar

Posted by Trish from PalmBeachCntyFL on 05/18/13 at 10:10 AM ET

I think the only Hawks-related person I can respect is Joey the Junior Reporter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_3IeL8lgAg

Posted by Itrusteddrrahmani from Nyc by way of A2 on 05/18/13 at 09:24 AM ET

dougie's avatar

So, who was the stoopid sumbitch who decided to open my shop on Saturday?

Oh, wait. It was me. Maybe I need to put some underwear on my head and march around for a while. Back in February, I wasn’t planning for playoff matinee conflicts, and you weren’t either.

I am sure I can find an excuse to leave early, and break every open container law in NC to rush home and catch the second period. And both overtimes.

Posted by dougie on 05/18/13 at 09:26 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

thanks, Chief.

” ... That’s just science.”
you aren’t going all ‘pharmaceutical’ on us now, are you?  smile

never give up

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/18/13 at 09:30 AM ET

pgoody's avatar


Posted by pgoody on 05/18/13 at 09:40 AM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

It’s Saturday, early game, Wings rested…..lets roll!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 05/18/13 at 09:59 AM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

I’m back in the Motherland for my nephew’s wedding today.

On this date eleven years ago, the Wings were laying waste to the Dive on my wedding day.  Lets all hope for a repeat performance.

Fuch the Hawks.

LGRW

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 05/18/13 at 10:07 AM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/18/13 at 10:14 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Drew Miller may be back, AND playing?  If he has good wheels then that’s a plus for us.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/18/13 at 10:19 AM ET

klank's avatar

pancakes & Whiskey!  top O the morning toast:  LGRW!!

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 05/18/13 at 10:30 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Thanks, Chief! 

I hate Kane too.  He reminds me of a gnat. That time Mule took his mouthpiece out of his pie hole and threw it down on the ice is my favorite hockey moment ever. 

No LB for me today.

But I totally believe in this team.  They’ve already gone deeper in the playoffs with no Lidstrom and Stuart than they did last year with Lidstrom and Stuart.  Everyone said the Wings went down in that first round last year ‘cuz god got hurt.  But these Wings have been without god all year.  And they are still getting it done. 

I’m all in and I believe.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/18/13 at 10:34 AM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Roll for me today boys. Win one for this train riding, job working, trepidatious as shit sunofabitch.

Posted by Yzersyuk on 05/18/13 at 10:44 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Everyone said the Wings went down in that first round last year ‘cuz god got hurt.  But these Wings have been without god all year.

There once was a drowning man, and he prayed for God. Along came a boat, and he said “no, God’s coming”. Then there was a helicopter, he said “no, God’s coming”. Then he died. In heaven, God beat him down with a stick and asked “why the fuch wouldn’t enter my boat, you idiot?”

(Helm’s with the team, isn’t Him?)

(shut up, I woke up three minutes ago)

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 05/18/13 at 10:49 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Thank You!

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/18/13 at 10:53 AM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Little brother is growing up and all that…. doesn’t mean big bro can’t still slap him around still.
We have to head home with a split says Cap’n Obvious.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/18/13 at 10:57 AM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Desperate times calls for desperate measure: I’m going all vodka today. Starting vodka at noon always turns out well.

See you bitches Thursday sometime

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 05/18/13 at 10:58 AM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Top o the morning sports fans!

Marion was a hired whore for the Wings. He was living whorestyle way back then.  He fits right in on the Cawks.

Gonna be late to the LB, hell I might miss it. Seems that Son Number Two’s Lacrosse team made to the CIF Divisional playoffs.  Quarterfinal game starts at the same time as the Wings. Win today, they move on. Lose and the season ends. Gotta watch the lad play, team captain, gradumacating senior and all that he is. Yeah, I’m proud of em.

Go Pointers!

Let’s Go Red Wings !!!!!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, with 3 fingers of rum & a cigar.. on 05/18/13 at 11:08 AM ET

VooX's avatar

Afternoon, bitches, what are you drinking?

Missed the last game because, like Groucho, I had a Night at the Opera.  Unfortunately, several months ago a playoff game conflict seemed unlikely so we bought tickets.  I was in the nosebleeds and was tossed for throwing an octopus into the orchestra pit while screaming “Let’s Go Red Wings”.  Fuching savages have no respect for tradition.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 05/18/13 at 11:18 AM ET

Forklift's avatar

There’s one thing here that does indeed unite us all…

*#$%@& the White Sox.

Posted by Forklift from Section 315 in the United Center on 05/18/13 at 11:25 AM ET

Forklift's avatar

and, hey…if anyone on the Wings wants to disembowel Gorilla Salad, I’d be totally cool with that.

Posted by Forklift from Section 315 in the United Center on 05/18/13 at 11:29 AM ET

FatEric2000's avatar

PBR tastes lovely in the morning, but I’ll be switching to MD20/20 when the game time comes. I need to reach the correct level of frothing mad by the 2nd period to handle this.

Anyone else down for some Bananna Red?

Also, when is this track gonna make the live blog title?
Zetters Song

Maybe I shouldnt hold my breath.

Posted by FatEric2000 from San Jose, but my Hearts in the Detroit on 05/18/13 at 11:46 AM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Good luck to Rummie JR…. I will have to bounce early as mother nature is gonna let the kiddo play ball this weekend. We’ve had 3 rain outs in the last month and last weekend off for Moms day…. kinda like starting the season over again.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/18/13 at 11:47 AM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

you can really gauge NBC’s interest in having the NHL on their main station by what they have on before it…

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/18/13 at 11:49 AM ET

OlderThanChelios's avatar

I didn’t like the goal celebration Wednesday.  The Superman thing with the mouth wide open, yes…say it.

Throw in the Olympic-style dive and I lost any respect I had for Hossa by the end of that game. He’s a Hawk now, for sure – they’ve taught him how to be a grandstanding douchebag. “Kronwall” the MF.

I’m all in and I believe.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh

Your pre-game comments always leave me with a smile.  grin

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids, MI on 05/18/13 at 11:52 AM ET

shanetx's avatar

What is this rain you speak of, Mo?  I am interested to hear more!

Posted by shanetx from Floydada, Texas on 05/18/13 at 11:52 AM ET

VooX's avatar

Link for VLC/Quicktime.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 05/18/13 at 11:53 AM ET

klank's avatar

like mixing baby shit with Blue Moon and Thai food.

recipe for Kanes favorite mixed drink.

 

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 05/18/13 at 11:56 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Slainte, Master Chief.  Whack for the daddy O!  There’s whiskey in the jar.

LGRW.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 05/18/13 at 11:57 AM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

No whiskey here…. beer in a can and keep’em coming.
The wife will definately be driving my ass to and from the baseball tournament (again).

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/18/13 at 11:59 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

report is that Miller in for Bert

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/18/13 at 12:05 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Thank You!

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/18/13 at 11:53 AM ET

+19

L.G.R.W.

Posted by calquake on 05/18/13 at 12:05 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

The Wings decide their own fate. It is not predetermined.

Don’t complain. Don’t explain.

LETS GO RED WINGS!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/18/13 at 12:05 PM ET

SYF's avatar

oUTSTANDING.  iCEPATCH oN tHE nBC cOVERAGE.

Muting this bitch.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 05/18/13 at 12:07 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Both teams had 2 days odd Doc.
Edzo slurping the Cawks…..

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 05/18/13 at 12:08 PM ET

SYF's avatar

But I totally believe in this team.  They’ve already gone deeper in the playoffs with no Lidstrom and Stuart than they did last year with Lidstrom and Stuart.  Everyone said the Wings went down in that first round last year ‘cuz god got hurt.  But these Wings have been without god all year.

Gossebumps.  Got it.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 05/18/13 at 12:08 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Seems that Son Number Two’s Lacrosse team made to the CIF Divisional playoffs.  Quarterfinal game starts at the same time as the Wings. Win today, they move on. Lose and the season ends. Gotta watch the lad play, team captain, gradumacating senior and all that he is. Yeah, I’m proud of em.

Go Pointers!

Let’s Go Red Wings !!!!!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, SCP Round #2….whore style on 05/18/13 at 12:08 PM ET

Good things are gonna happen, Rummer.  Best of luck to the spare.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 05/18/13 at 12:10 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I really miss Lake Michigan.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/18/13 at 12:10 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

game on

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/18/13 at 12:11 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com