Abel to Yzerman

Abel to Yzerman

Saving Both Barrels For Captain Farrell

05/18/2013 at 10:00am EDT

I've decided I don't like Marian Hossa. I never blamed him for leaving Hockeytown for the starched collars and wine coolers of Chicago. Well, I did because I'm me and I'm always looking for someone to blame for something. But, I kind of understood it. Our man with the plan Tick Tock made his choice and Gary wouldn't let us keep them both, so...it's history.

I don't like him now, though. Not one bit.

I didn't like the goal celebration Wednesday. The Superman thing with the mouth wide open, yes...say it. That's ok though. Not full-on hate. Just a lot of bit of dislike.

And you know I've never liked Kane. Ever. He's Corey Perry with talent. I don't like Joel Quenneville because his mustache is dumb and he was a Dive then a Blue and now a Hawk and that's a toxic combination, like mixing baby shit with Blue Moon and Thai food.

I don't like the song, or the arena or that fact that during the National Anthem people are not just screaming (which is ok but not recommended), but they're chatting and looking all over the place. Hats on. Texting. Eating things.

I can't stand the White Sox. I know that AJ Pierzdouchebag isn't there anymore and Ozzie Guillen is producing Nicaraguan porn. So, they're gone but still...

Not a fan of Great Lakes, either. I went to boot camp there and there was this mean bastard of a Chief who didn't like me. He picked on me and made me sad. Naturally, I like him now. But back then he put underwear on my head and made me march around and chant things.

I hated Michael Jordan and loved it when Bill Laimbeer gave him bad visions. I loved that rivalry until it wasn't one then I stopped watching the NBA, kind of like how I don't post anything when the Wings lose. Weird.

It's desperation time. Today is critical, just like the last month has been critical. Every night. From what I've read, the Wings were...tired. That's why they came out looking strong like bull in the first period then went fetal the final two. Ok. Well, Gary's given them plenty of rest. And then there's gonna be a lot more. But rest won't matter a bit if they lose today because there is no way baby Jesus lets us win this thing down 0-2. That's just science.

There is whiskey in that there jar. It's important that it flows. Freely. Often.

It's a Live Blog bitches. LGRW. 12 to 12.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that.

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