Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Why Sunday Matters

Update, Breaking News...BREAKING...George just posted that Kronwall, DeKeyser and Franzen are all sitting.  Good move, Michael.

Boston's Boston and there's no sense whining about what could have been had the Wings done their job against Carolina. Pittsburgh is weak, soft and ripe for an ass kicking. But they won't be getting it from us and Columbus won't be doing it, either.  

It's Boston and we'll get to them in good time.

But today?

As George said, it's a weird one.  It's yet another opportunity to burn down the West months after Gary told us not to.

Beat the Blues and the Blues get the Hawks, then the Blues lose to the Hawks.  After that, Blues fans go back to wearing half shirts, choking down Pall Malls and thinking about what could have been if their team hadn't picked the worst possible time to tune out their big bundle of fun, Hitch.  

Lose to the Blues and Denver gets Chicago, then Denver will lose to Chicago.  After that, Patrick Roy can collect the Jack Adams Trophy the shrew commissioner has already personally engraved with Roy's nickname, "Wingbitch".  Then, Dive fans can start early on their summer ritual of sipping light beer out of phallic-shaped straws.  I'm not judging, it's just what they do. 

And the team that doesn't play Chicago? They get Minnesota, and they'll beat Minnesota.  After that, the Ingalls sisters can gather in Mankado and bring in the wheat together, because that has always been so important to them.  Winning? Not so much. Raising children together in harmony and satisfied mediocrity?  Priceless. 

It's a win-win, lose-win, win/lose situation. No matter what, because of what happens today, a team and group of fans we look down on with scorn will feel anguish. And that's nice.

As for us and our immediate circumstances?  Howard should sit.  Kronwall should sit.  Datsyuk should absolutely sit.  Will they? I don't know.  I'm not Uncle Mike. I don't have the hair and can't shoot a gun to save my life (hence, the Navy). I don't hunt and I really don't know much about hockey other than I like to see guys in red score and I like to watch fans of other teams sputter and bitch.  That's it.  But, if I was Uncle Mike, I'd sit everyone I could.  

Except Franzen. Getting him hot is the second most important thing in your lives right now, just behind nobody getting (more) injured today.

Oh, and anyone who says the Wings give a single shit about winning this game is lying.  Getting momentum heading into the playoffs? Um. No. Nothing that happens today is going to make one bit of difference on Thursday. 

It's the final regular season Live Blog of the year, bitches.  Enjoy yourselves. I'll be drinking obscenely expensive shitty beer watching Scherzer mow down the Padres.

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Comments

 1 2 3 >  Last ›      Next »

Avatar

Ahoy, Chief! I am pumped to Sproul and Ouelette.

Posted by Lidstromfan on 04/13/14 at 11:58 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Thanks, Chief. Enjoy watching Max. I’m going to experiment with forcing myself to listen to Hysterical Emrick, Icky Oilslick and Pee-Air. I don’t want to watch the playoffs with the sound muted, unless I really can’t take it.

I know today doesn’t really matter, but I like to watch the Wings win. So I’ll stick to my mantra:

Just. Win.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/13/14 at 12:01 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Ahoy, Sailor.  Glad you’re here for the finale.  Slainte.

Oh, and anyone who says the Wings give a single shit about winning this game is lying.  Getting momentum heading into the playoffs? Um. No. Nothing that happens today is going to make one bit of difference on Thursday.

Fair enough.  There’s always the “Switch.”  There.  My whore mouth openeth.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:08 PM ET

calquake's avatar

It’s a fantastic day for a final regular season hockey game.  I really do have a problem Chief over who to disappoint today. The Blouse or the Dive, quite the quandary.  I think I’ll choose the BBBlouse bbbecause of the Pall Mall reference.

Posted by calquake on 04/13/14 at 12:17 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Howdy Chief & 19+

Matinee…...Hoping Wings win, it counts as far as their season record/statistics. smile

#GoWings - Nothing is Impossible - We’re in the Playoffs!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 04/13/14 at 12:19 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Definitely wanna disappoint the B’lose, cal.  Wings should just leave more burning embers in the West.  Can’t believe the Wings still hold the West’s fate in their hands.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:20 PM ET

Avatar

Fair enough.  There’s always the “Switch.”  There.  My whore mouth openeth.

Posted by SYF from the Swedish Ice Mafia on 04/13/14 at 12:08 PM ET

NNNOOOOOOO!!!!!  Not the switch.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/13/14 at 12:26 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Can’t take another NBC broadcast. Gonna be enough of that shite starting next week. Gonna listen to Ken and Paul for this one.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/13/14 at 12:30 PM ET

SYF's avatar

NNNOOOOOOO!!!!!  Not the switch.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/13/14 at 12:26 PM ET

I’m looking very evilly at the hot chick in the yoga pants who’s walking her standard Poodle down the sidewalk right now.  Think she won’t notice her Poodle’s missing in a couple of hours?

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:30 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Yes indeed….lot’s of options today…..


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LGRW !!!!!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the prospect shuffle.... on 04/13/14 at 12:32 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Think she won’t notice her Poodle’s missing in a couple of hours?

Posted by SYF from the Swedish Ice Mafia on 04/13/14 at 12:30 PM ET

I don’t know… you are talking aboot her dog aren’t you? cheese

Posted by calquake on 04/13/14 at 12:33 PM ET

SYF's avatar

From George’s massively awesome pregame post:

Jeremy Rutherford     ✔ @jprutherford
Follow
Not playing for the #stlblues today: Morrow, Berglund, Pietrangelo, Oshie, Backes and Sobotka.

Better.Win.This.

Our two points, Wings.  Earn ‘em.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:34 PM ET

SYF's avatar

I don’t know… you are talking aboot her dog aren’t you? cheese

Posted by calquake on 04/13/14 at 12:33 PM ET

Yes.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:34 PM ET

Avatar

Of course it had to be that picture, Rumbear.  I’m trying to eat lunch here.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/13/14 at 12:34 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Of course it had to be that picture, Rumbear.  I’m trying to eat lunch here.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/13/14 at 12:34 PM ET

Bearded clams?

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:35 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, dispensing opinions & rum…. on 04/13/14 at 12:32 PM ET

That pic makes me shudder every time I am forced to see it.

Posted by calquake on 04/13/14 at 12:35 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, dispensing opinions & rum…. on 04/13/14 at 12:32 PM ET

a classic Blose fan pic

... that never gets old.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/13/14 at 12:37 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Every time - every friggin’ time - a stream broadcasts NBCSN, I swear the mute button gets sad.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:37 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

That pic makes me shudder every time I am forced to see it.

When I see it, my faith in mankind is shaken…....

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the prospect shuffle.... on 04/13/14 at 12:38 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Wow. It’s not the usual annoying NBC Crew of Suck. I can do this!

LGRW!!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/13/14 at 12:38 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Hey, there’s Cola on the third pairing.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:39 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Razer.  Waaay out to make an awesome save.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:39 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Hey, there’s Cola on the third pairing.

Posted by SYF from the Swedish Ice Mafia on 04/13/14 at 12:39 PM ET

Proof that thing’s don’t go better with Cola.

Posted by calquake on 04/13/14 at 12:40 PM ET

SYF's avatar

OFFICIALS
Referees: Dan O’Rourke, Frederick L’Ecuyer
Linesmen: Derek Amell, David Brisebois

oF.cOURSE.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:43 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

so Q and Miller are the only ones to survived and start all 82 this year.

congrats, and good on them.

keep your heads up today, boyz.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/13/14 at 12:43 PM ET

SYF's avatar

B’lose forward went straight for an area around Ouellet’s head.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:45 PM ET

SK77's avatar

Wow, horrible move by Sproul right there to challenge the puck carrier in the neutral zone.

Posted by SK77 on 04/13/14 at 12:45 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Sproul showed both good and bad judgment on the same shift.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/13/14 at 12:47 PM ET

SK77's avatar

Sproul showed both good and bad judgment on the same shift.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/13/14 at 12:47 PM ET

Yeah, he looked good in the offensive zone for sure. Thankfully Bertuzzi (?!?!!) was there to bail him out on the breakaway.

Posted by SK77 on 04/13/14 at 12:48 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Jesus Lashoff. punishing the B’lose.  I like.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:49 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Blessings…..Kids are in bed and I have the big screen all to myself.

LGRW !!!!!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the prospect shuffle.... on 04/13/14 at 12:50 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Helm with the breakawaaaaaaaay…no goal.  But he draws the penalty.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:50 PM ET

SK77's avatar

Yeah, like the hitting and the speed right now. Good tenacity by Glendening, and Helm drawing the penalty. Love it.

Posted by SK77 on 04/13/14 at 12:50 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Carlo!  The guy who couldn’t crack the wings lineup once Dekeyser came up

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/13/14 at 12:52 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

... right ...

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/13/14 at 12:53 PM ET

SYF's avatar

What cross checking??????

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:54 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

WHAT THE FUCH?!?!?

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/13/14 at 12:54 PM ET

SYF's avatar

What the fuch?  Seriously, WTF?

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/13/14 at 12:54 PM ET

SK77's avatar

Yikes.

Posted by SK77 on 04/13/14 at 12:54 PM ET

Avatar

So Miller falls in the same direction the little tap came from…...yeah ok.  Let’s get the ridiculous zebra suckage out of the way before the playoffs start, please.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/13/14 at 12:54 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com