Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Live Blogging From a Little Club Downtown

Bullet Bob Seger will tell you the Buffalo Sabres are long, lovely dancers. Classy lasses from good families. Debutantes if they'd decided to take Daddy's money, marry young and hit the country club circuits. Cottages in Charlevoix, Tawas, TC.  Fire Lake, even.

But no. They decided to opt for the initiative. College, post grad, medical or law school.  So,  Daddy's money ran low and they found themselves fending for cash.

And that's when the "long, lovely dancers" revealed who they really were, and what they were really doing.

Let's not sugarcoat it.  We're talking about strippers here.  Pole dancers for money.  Seger knew it better than most and just decided to phrase it a little more elegantly and eloquently because he's Seger, the greatest American songwriter since Irving Berlin.

And that's who the Sabres are tonight.  And you know as well as I do that, despite their lineage and despite their organizational class, they can only be treated one way because they're standing between the Wings and two precious points.

This cannot be a "trap game", or a "find your legs" game. It can't be a 1st and 3rd game where the Wings come out firing, nap, then re-energize.  The time has passed for that happy horse shit.

The Sabres must not be treated gently.  No.

Strippers are not hookers. Not all of them. But the Sabres must be manhandled, like Cinemax.

It's the playoffs we're talking about. And a win tonight essentially guarantees 23.

Whore style. They must be treated in that fashion. If that offends you, or offends your cousin from St. Louis, I'm sorry. But it's so.

It's a Live Blog, bitches. 

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Comments

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OlderThanChelios's avatar

Live Blogging From a Little Club Downtown…

So, based on my total inabilty to figure out what the hell you’re talking about, I’m going to guess that one of us is already wasted. Or maybe it’s both of us. In that case, who cares what ths means…

But the Sabres must be manhandled, like Cinemax.

It makes me laugh. And laugther is about the only thing that will make the next three hours or so tolerable. Let’s get this sh!t over with and guarantee a shot at the Pens. Because no one here wants to start #23 againt the Bruins.

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids, MI on 04/08/14 at 05:06 PM ET

Avatar

....chain smokin’......uh huh huh…

Posted by dingus from the salty great lake on 04/08/14 at 05:12 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

I thought Seger inspired blogs were banned?

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/08/14 at 05:14 PM ET

Avatar

....as the sabers take their pregame skate, ville leino says, to no one in particular….

...“before this is over, we’ll wish we woulda left right now…...”......while across the rink, nyquist can’t get the beat of “heavy music” out of his head…..ba bump bump ba ba bump bump ba ba bump bump…...BUMP BUMP…...

...ain’t there ever been a time in your life you couldn’t believe what the band was puttin down !!!!    BUMP BUMP !!

....gimme two to go….BUMP BUMP !!  we gotta get back home to lincoln park….......

....imagine….

Posted by dingus from the salty great lake on 04/08/14 at 05:25 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

just win, boyz.


Just.

Win.


L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/08/14 at 05:32 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Thanks Chief!

WIN. No other option. smile

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 04/08/14 at 05:36 PM ET

FranzensMouthguard's avatar

THREE POINTS BOYS

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 04/08/14 at 05:37 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 04/08/14 at 06:37 PM ET

That’s funny.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 04/08/14 at 05:41 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

Been to Tawas…..the chicken was good. The buffalo was dry, and stank of fear and poison.

And as the Big Red Machine rolled up, down rolled the window. A shy pale man with a brazen smirk walked over to the arena;
and he got over to the arena;
and he walks to the door;
and he starts poundin’ on the door and he says
“Open up the door bitch!?
This is wooba gooba with the green teeth, let me in!!”


Wings get the two they deserve.

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 04/08/14 at 05:42 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Evenin’ Bitches. Ahoy-hoy, Master Chief.

Whatever it takes to make the Playoffs!

Let’s Roll!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/08/14 at 05:48 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Hola, Master Chief.

Tipping a tall pint of Guinness to you and your shooters.  Slainte.

Let’s not sugarcoat it.  We’re talking about strippers here.  Pole dancers for money.  Seger knew it better than most and just decided to phrase it a little more elegantly and eloquently because he’s Seger, the greatest American songwriter since Irving Berlin.

The interns can confirm that.  And Downriver Puck Bunnies.  And Roxanne at BT’s in Dearborn.

Our.Two.Points.  Earn ‘em, Wings.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/08/14 at 05:49 PM ET

WingFanFormerlyInLA's avatar

Evenin’ strippers….errr bitches…

Statement game for the Wing tonight.  Get this done, get the deuce then tomorrow you have the first of 8 against Pittsburgh.

Posted by WingFanFormerlyInLA on 04/08/14 at 05:55 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 04/08/14 at 06:37 PM ET

Genius.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/08/14 at 05:56 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Live Blogging From a Little Club Downtown…

Bouzouki Lounge?

I’m in. Oh yeah, for the game too.

 

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/08/14 at 05:58 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Just. Win.

LGRW!!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/08/14 at 05:59 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 04/08/14 at 06:37 PM ET

Me really, really, likey!

Wild Card! Bitches!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/08/14 at 06:00 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Mick on the road. Good shit bitches.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/08/14 at 06:02 PM ET

calquake's avatar

It’s a great evening for a hockey game… let’s take two.

Posted by calquake on 04/08/14 at 06:02 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

A wink ! Yay! Mickey is in the building.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/08/14 at 06:02 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I really like our Broadcasters. wink

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/08/14 at 06:04 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

SWM Ken! No jink!

Lets Go Red ?Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/08/14 at 06:05 PM ET

SYF's avatar

I find a stream and it’s a commercial for Viagra.

Outstanding.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/08/14 at 06:07 PM ET

monkey's avatar

We’re stripping whore style, bitches.  It all makes sense now.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/08/14 at 06:08 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

game on

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/08/14 at 06:08 PM ET

Bent's avatar

I think I have said this before, but those Buffalo jerseys are fugly.

LGRW!

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 04/08/14 at 06:09 PM ET

WingFanFormerlyInLA's avatar

I hate pairing Zats with Franzen and Abby.  Nyquist should be on that line.

Posted by WingFanFormerlyInLA on 04/08/14 at 06:09 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Lighting looks dim. Anyone?

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/08/14 at 06:09 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Did not know Nolan was a Wings draft pick.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/08/14 at 06:10 PM ET

WingFanFormerlyInLA's avatar

I hate pairing Zats with Franzen and Abby.  Nyquist should be on that line.

Or at least Jurco with Dats, Abby serves no purpose on the top line.

Posted by WingFanFormerlyInLA on 04/08/14 at 06:11 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Lighting looks dim. Anyone?

I think the lights went oot in Buffalo aboot November ...

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/08/14 at 06:11 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Same here, Kate.  Just slow - real slow - getting up to full brightness.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/08/14 at 06:12 PM ET

Gary A$$ SUCK !!'s avatar

It’s a excellent day for Hockey !!!  Just get those two points…!!!

Lets Go Red Wings !!!!
cool smile

Posted by Gary A$$ SUCK !! from Fort Myers, Florida on 04/08/14 at 06:12 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

So did they finally tell Ozzie to stick with the studio?

And what’s this? Is the GameCenter feed on time for once?

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/08/14 at 06:12 PM ET

WingFanFormerlyInLA's avatar

WTF is Legwand doing???

Posted by WingFanFormerlyInLA on 04/08/14 at 06:12 PM ET

Alan's avatar

I’m here, I’m here… won’t be here all night, but let’s do this.

LGRW!

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 04/08/14 at 06:13 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Speaking of fugly uni’s, my kiddos baseball team has a digital camo jersey.
Fail IMO.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/08/14 at 06:13 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Good start for Not Shea…

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/08/14 at 06:13 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Good press by the Wings’ PP.  The Sabres can’t get a change.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/08/14 at 06:13 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

So….1 shot on net for all that passing?  Nice scramble save tho

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/08/14 at 06:14 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Too quick on the whistle.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/08/14 at 06:15 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com