Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

I NOW Believe Gus Nyquist Is a Hall of Famer and Uncle Mike

I really don't have to go on too much about Nyquist.  If you extrapolate, because you're a pharmacist and you use that word in every-day conversation just like a big boy who went to "university" and there are times when two syllables just aren't enough to get that salient point across in between sips of craft beer that you don't like the taste of but you'll drink anyway because there's got to be that one person, just one, who is impressed by it? If you extrapolate, he'd have a lot of goals and he'd probably be in the Calder discussion. Does he even qualify? I don't know.

But I do know this:  Mike Babcock lied to you yesterday. You knew it. I knew it. He absolutely knew it and the only people who believed him were the ones who usually believe him and that's the Diggers.

Ted Kulfan, anyone? Yes, I have some Ted Kulfan for you.

“The thing to understand is it’s not about Pavel one bit."

Love it. Thank you. Liar. It's all about Pavel. All of it. Every bit, all the one bits. Two bits, three bits. Every bit of it is all about Pavel. And Hank.  Yes, the kids got us to this point. But if this thing is gonna move forward, one and most likely two have got to be back. If you believed Babcock there, you're high.

“Someone told me he’s playing Friday.”   

Yep.  Someone did. Because you asked. Repeatedly. You ask every day. You ask him. Every day. "Someone?"  Liar.

“I haven’t been involved in those decisions all year,” said Babcock, adding it’s Datsyuk’s call if he’s ready. “I only spend time worrying about the players who are playing."

Lying liar. What is this fantasy lawn jarts? That's the most disgusting, beautiful, pornographic lie he's ever told. Mike Babcock is involved in EVERYTHING, or he wouldn't be Mike Babcock. He only spends time worrying about every aspect of all that there is in the universe. Everything. 

If I hear he’s playing (Wednesday), I’ll start worrying about him tomorrow.

No. Nope. Nada. You'll keep worrying about him now, the way you've been worrying about him for 9 years, and especially 9 weeks or whatever it's been. You "worry" about him every day. You ponder and ruminate and sip about it.  I only "worry" about Datsyuk and Zetterberg about 6 hours per day and it's not even my FRIGGING JOB. It's his life, his pastime. His addiction.  He worries about all of it. Every. Single. Day.  

You're a liar, Mike. I've said nothing new in this post and that's nothing new in itself. But someone needs to say it.  You're lying. And we dig it.

Most likely no live blog for me tonite. It's raining in San Diego and the Navy does not handle that well at all. Not one bit.  Paul, please start it if you can.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

Hootinani's avatar

Now let me get this straight…

Its ok that I drink craft beer as long as I like the taste, right?

Posted by Hootinani on 04/02/14 at 08:42 AM ET

Avatar

Nice to hear from you. Nobody can throw up a rant like you.

Posted by teldar on 04/02/14 at 08:54 AM ET

Bill from GR's avatar

Morning, Chief.

We got a Hazelnut Stout over here that has become my favorite.

But I make sure I drink it like Pinky.

Posted by Bill from GR on 04/02/14 at 08:56 AM ET

Iggy_Rules's avatar

Shots fired in the title (and I love it)...

Posted by Iggy_Rules from Calgary, Canada on 04/02/14 at 09:00 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Mornin’ Chief. It’s pretty early out West. The fruity crafty beers are ones I enjoy now that I’m 60.

Now, if I ever start talking aboot apricot brandy, then I will officially be old. Bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

 

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/02/14 at 09:17 AM ET

Chris from NOHS's avatar

Ah, the smell of insults and lies in the morning. Feels like home.

LGRW

Posted by Chris from NOHS from Columbus, OH/Grand Rapids, MI on 04/02/14 at 09:22 AM ET

Paul's avatar

No problem, live blog will be up at 730pm, with puck drop just after 8pm.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 04/02/14 at 09:25 AM ET

silversailer's avatar

I was sooo flabbergasted (how’s that for word choice? ha) when I read PSH’s original headline!
This just made my day! I can’t believe you just busted it out after all these months, and out of nowhere!

P.S. Nyquist is so awesome!! Can’t believe management tried to stuff that kid in the minors again this year, and gave his spot to “as-close-to-worthless-as-you-can—possibly-get” Dan Cleary no less! (sorry for all the exclamation points)...!

Posted by silversailer on 04/02/14 at 09:36 AM ET

LivinLaVidaLockout's avatar

That joke will NEVER get old. Good morning, bitches.

Posted by LivinLaVidaLockout on 04/02/14 at 09:39 AM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Damn good to have you back Master Chief.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/02/14 at 09:56 AM ET

joedaiceman's avatar

I do dig it - yes I do

Posted by joedaiceman on 04/02/14 at 10:17 AM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Craft beer is for assholes.

That’s why I only butt-chug it.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/02/14 at 10:31 AM ET

Avatar

No Datsyuk and no Aflredsson for tonight.  Both scratched.

Posted by Matt_in_MI on 04/02/14 at 11:33 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Craft beer?  You must be talking about Bud Light Platinum, with it’s rich, hooker’s ass crack filtered taste.  A true original, just like TPSH.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/02/14 at 11:38 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

I honestly only do these Peloton of Suck graphs because this is a stressful part of year and it helps protect my fragile, eggshell mind.

Conf Long 1 Apr
.
.

Note here, Montreal and Tampa Bay now join the show offs and have clinched playoff positions and will clinch the 2d and 3rd Atlantic Division spots.  And in the mercurial NHL, Inc., which is still desperately seeking identity equal to those of the Original Six, that’s the name of the Division the Red Wings are in.  So new graphs will have to be made that get rid of them.

Are we headed for another last game, Night of the Living Dead?  Sweet Baby Jesucristo, I hope not.


POS 1 Apr 14

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/02/14 at 11:51 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

It is wonderful to read your posts again, Chief.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/02/14 at 12:04 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/02/14 at 11:51 AM ET

Well, when you put it that way, it dont sound so bad

Posted by Hootinani on 04/02/14 at 12:20 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

hooker’s ass crack filtered taste.  A true original, just like TPSH.
Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/02/14 at 11:38 AM ET

funny, Ive only ever used Hooker’s Ass Crack (TM) for my coffee, never even thought about it for my beer.  Thanks for the advice.

Posted by Hootinani on 04/02/14 at 12:22 PM ET

OlderThanChelios's avatar

I NOW Believe Gus Nyquist Is a Hall of Famer

Seeing that headline as I scrolled down the Home page, I freaked out. I thought the oh-so-wonderful “blocking” feature was broken. Instead, it served as a reminder of just how great it is to peruse KK and not have to see that kind of nincompoopery every day.

Most likely no live blog for me tonite. It’s raining in San Diego and the Navy does not handle that well at all. Not one bit.

Someday I’d really love to know what it is that you do, Master Chief, because, for the life of me, I can’t figure out what job in the Navy would kick into all-hands-on-deck mode when it rains. grin

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids, MI on 04/02/14 at 12:30 PM ET

calquake's avatar

It’s raining in San Diego and the Navy does not handle that well at all. Not one bit.

Huh, the Navy and water not mixing very well, go figure.  Nice to see you back in the saddle Chief.

Posted by calquake on 04/02/14 at 12:41 PM ET

sjketcheson's avatar

The Chief’s words are all I need for sustenance. Well, that and some local craft beer.

Posted by sjketcheson from the floor of the Hasek on 04/02/14 at 12:53 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

I’ll second (or third or whatever number we’re on) the sentiment regarding having you back, Chief, even if it’s only on a part-time basis.

Trying to even LB to anywhere remotely near your level was/is… well, for me, quite unpossible.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/02/14 at 12:56 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Er…

Trying to even LB to anywhere remotely near your level was/is… well, for me, quite unpossible.

I need a nap.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/02/14 at 12:59 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Trying to even LB to anywhere remotely near your level was/is… well, for me, quite unpossible.

Posted by RedMenace from Team Slovaskimo Fighting Snipers on 04/02/14 at 12:56 PM ET

Look at it this way Red… Chief is Pavel, there’s no replacing him.  You’re more like Nyquist, having to earn your way every time you hit the ice.  The 19 salute you both and are grateful for your contributions.

Posted by calquake on 04/02/14 at 01:02 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

funny, Ive only ever used Hooker’s Ass Crack (TM) for my coffee, never even thought about it for my beer.  Thanks for the advice.

Posted by Hootinani on 04/02/14 at 12:22 PM ET

Just add Kaluha Mudslide to your next ass crack filtered coffee.  It’s the perfect “wake me up way to start your day.”

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/02/14 at 01:04 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Crap beer?  Did i read that right?

Chief! Go to see you around these environs. Your juvenilistic parsing of the sayllables is sorely missed. Nevertheless, RM is doing yeomans work as a vocabularian while keeping the lights on and the Hasek flowing. 

LGRW !!!!!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 04/02/14 at 02:14 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Red Menace,

What calquake said.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/02/14 at 03:00 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Hail to the CMC and his merry band of itchy-finger, trigger-happy shooters.  Slainte, ya big Irish bastard.

“Craft beer?”  Do Sierra Nevada Stouts count, yes?  I can always go back to Guinness.

Craft beer?  You must be talking about Bud Light Platinum, with it’s rich, hooker’s ass crack filtered taste.  A true original, just like TPSH.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/02/14 at 11:38 AM ET

I was pretty certain it was filtered through a plumber’s ass crack.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/02/14 at 03:12 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

I was pretty certain it was filtered through a plumber’s ass crack.

Posted by SYF from the Swedish Ice Mafia on 04/02/14 at 03:12 PM ET

Poe tay toe, poh tah toe.  LOL

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/02/14 at 03:47 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Poe tay toe, poh tah toe.  LOL

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/02/14 at 03:47 PM ET

I’ll be a monkey’s football.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/02/14 at 04:04 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

I’ll be a monkey’s football.

Posted by SYF from the Swedish Ice Mafia on 04/02/14 at 04:04 PM ET

That football would have been three years old today.  That’s fifty five in football years.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/02/14 at 04:08 PM ET

Norskirama's avatar

RWBill, I LOVE your charts.  It sort of looks like science which is sort of what I am supposed to be doing now.

Posted by Norskirama from Lincoln, Nebraska on 04/02/14 at 05:03 PM ET

Hippy Dave's avatar

It’s so friggin’ good to see these posts (and threads!) again.

Posted by Hippy Dave from Portland by way of Detroit on 04/02/14 at 08:29 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

and credit to Chief for a Game Day Post.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/02/14 at 10:41 PM ET


3-0 on days he posts since he came back for a visit.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 04/02/14 at 10:51 PM ET

cheese

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/02/14 at 11:04 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com