Truthiness in Hockey

By now, I assume Steven Colbert’s schtick with the term “Truthiness” is familiar to most people. The notion of “these are the facts because they’re the facts I like” is my own quick definition of Truthiness. And I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Wikiality: The Encyclopedia of Truthiness had an entry for “hockey”. Here’s a small sample…

Creation of Hockey
Hockey was invented by godless communists from Canada who needed something to do while freezing their butts off in the middle of winter, besides ice fishing or clubbing baby seals to death. Also, as an excuse to beat up French-Canadians. It provided Canadians something to listen to on the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation radio network [...] as at the time of the invention of hockey, all the CBC had on were Polar Bear reports, some guy named Ed the Sock, and a program about maple syrup.

While Wikiality provides a few cheap laughs, truthiness is serious business. (It is, dammit!) We all indulge in it, and those of us who love hockey do it on a daily basis as a tool of survival.

Keeping in mind that it all depends on your point of view, here’s a sample of some “truthiness” of the NHL:

- Gary Bettman saved the National Hockey League
- Canadians are the only true fans of the game
- America is the only salvation for the game
- More scoring in the NHL will mean more fans
- Bigger nets are better (see above)
- Mike Keenan is a great coach
- Dustin Penner is worth the money
- Nashville has some fans, therefore it must be a hockey city
- Sean Avery is just a feisty dude, not an asshat
- Fighting in hockey is to enforce the ‘code’, not because we like to see a whooping
- Toronto is not the Centre of the Universe
- The Colorado Avalanche is not evil
- Versus is doing the best they can
- The NYI management is not insane, they’re just creative
- Kevin Lowe’s job is very secure
- The Vancouver Canucks will win the Cup in my lifetime
...and so on.

Is truthiness The Truth, or is it the lies we tell ourselves? Well, as a Canucks fan, I highly recommend living with one’s chosen delusions.

It’s just a whole lot more fun that way.

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