With the return of Roberto Luongo for tonight’s game in Minnesota—perhaps carrying an extra load of 7+ lbs on his mind—the suicide rate in Vancouver is probably slowing up. Though not for any good reason.
After all, the man has flown some 70,000,000 miles in 36 hours, and probably hasn’t slept in the same amount of time. Add that to the lingering stains of baby spew, and I can’t help but think Curtis Sanford must be one seriously annoyed backup goalie.
Anyway, I’m suddenly starving as well as having an off-day. Since readers wish to share their opinions, here’s a sample of this week’s mail:
“Rick [email protected]#$ing Rypien. Why?”
—Michael, email during 2nd period of Canucks vs Avalanche
“I had a dream the other night that vaguely involved you and the Canucks—Tom Benjamin was extremely angry about something you’d written, saying it disrespected the Canucks, etc., called on you to take it back.”
—Greg, email, apparently sent while hungover. Or still loaded.
“You are a fu&#ing moron.”
—Aaron, email edited to improve the literary value.
(note: appropriate response [audio link])
“I’m going to go throw myself under a bus now.”
—Trini, comment after Canucks vs Avalanche
“We are all… under a bus.”
—Canuckfan, sloganizing Trini’s pain for future generations of fans
“If the Canucks make the playoffs, I’ll eat a ham sandwich.”
—Ryan Kesler, showing his commitment
Okay, so I made that last one up. But if the Canucks clinch a playoff spot, I’ll eat a ham sandwich. (Then again, I’m not Jewish. But I’m hungry.)
Regardless, it seems like a perfectly reasonable motivating factor to me - ham sandwiches for the whole team, on me, if they can just win some &#$*@ games.
Next up:Biggest Game of the Year, Part 77 ™