You know, I was thinking about buying the Montreal Canadiens this week. (They’re amenable to offers, after all; how tough could it be?) But things got sketchy pretty quickly.

A perusal of my finances revealed some unpleasant realities, laid bare most quickly by the fact that liquidating all my stocks might not allow me to afford a sandwich, much less a storied hockey franchise. And while my savings account might get me a little closer to the purchase price, I consider the entirety of that $78.41 to be earmarked for alcohol consumption over the coming weeks as Vancouver terrorizes me with their idea of “playoff readiness.”

So, having rejected the idea as a silly plan yesterday, I felt confident I’d made the right decision. That is until today, when I read that two business guys I know made their own offer… 80.1% ownership of the Canadiens, in exchange for, well, 9 cases of organic soap…