You mean Pittsburgh's not going to deal Letang to Philly? Shocking, because they're such natural trade partners.

You're right. I didn't predict Pavel would stay, in fact up until the moment he re-signed I was sticking with my post from months ago that he was bound for Vladivostak the minute after the parade next June. Clearly, because I've worked so hard to establish a reputation as a "serious blogger", I'm disappointed. It could have been my big break.

Back to current events and back to what we do reasonably well, or at least what we do comfortably.

Well Kenny?

I promised you. I swore we were going to back off and we did. Back on Tax Day, otherwise known as two days before I actually filed my taxes, this ditty appeared in this esteemed space...

Since the Ingalls sisters took their feel-good story to Walnut Grove, this blog has been--almost exclusively--a bitching, bitter, blast at Kenny Holland. I take nothing back. It's been a legitimate disappointment. But I'm admitting today that I could have gone in different directions many times and taken the easy road.

And with that, we stopped blasting and fell back on what we know best...fawning over the greatest sports franchise ever invented by Darwin or God or Aaron Hernandez. We were rewarded with what I still consider one of the most exciting, gratifying playoff runs in the last twenty years. Five years ago a second round defeat to Chicago (especially in that fashion) would have been reason to do something insane, like buy a Hybrid. But not this year, not with that team, and not with the future Kenny's built for us and our families.

On to the East and another Summer of Ken. I don't care who we draft. I never have. It means nothing. Draft analysis, mock drafts, draft light beer. Who the hell drinks light beer on draft? None of it matters. All that matters is now and who Kenny is going to bring us. Like Weiss, like Lecavalier, like Letang.

I don't want to hear about Iginla. This is going to be a Jarmoe-free zone. I do want to talk about LeCavalier and I do want to talk about Weiss. Not just talk. I'd like them both, if that's ok. And I'm giving you permission to consider the glory of bringing each of them to Detroit, in place of Filppula, in place of Samuelsson. I'd also like to discuss the fact that while Letang would be nifty, he's not required. Much like Parise would have been a bonus last year but Suter was A MUST Kenny. A MUST. Whatever happened to them anyway? Did they both retire?

This 5/year figure seems to have attached itself to LeCavalier. That makes me warm. Is it even realistic that he'd sign for that low? It's hard to fathom he and Filppula would sign for the same number just because my impression is that there is such a gulf between them. In reality, it might be an even swap in that Wally's probably a better all-around player, when he decides to actually--you know--play. We've seen that like five times since 2008, though.

You have a nagging feeling that Damien Brunner is gone. I have it, too. I also have a feeling that should he stay, he's going to be a consistent Uncle Mike project. Cajoling and scolding. Hot and cold. We'll examine his minutes constantly and he'll be the scapegoat when the PP falters. I'd like him to stay but I'll bet within a week we're going to be slamming him for the money he (or his agent) feels he deserves based on about an overall month of good hockey.

I said we don't need Letang and I believe that. I really started to dig our defense...even the Italian kid and, jesus, Quincey. Pharmacists will remind me that I missed lots of stuff like turnovers and blunders and blah, blah, blah. But they looked good to me and so did the whole D. I guess I like the Kindl signing. 4 for 9.6 is such a typical Wing-friendly deal. It's perfect Holland.

I know DeKeyser is going to be sensational (I think that's the first time I've ever used that word on this blog...seriously). Kenny, please concentrate on forwards.

Concentrate on bringing us Stephen Weiss because he's fast and can score. Hudler minus the back-biting hooker fetishes and the aversion to any sort of defense whatsoever. Bring us LeCavalier because he's french and it would be cool to rub that in the faces of our new divisional BFFs in Montreal. I'd like the french guy on our second line, Kenny. And I'd like to see him on the power play, Kenny. I'd like to see him score goals and hug other men in red and white, Kenny. I know it's probably not going to happen and I know you're going to kick those tires and then George is going to tell us your board of advisors advised against it because of money and shit. But we still want him.

Speaking of The New Division...Boston's tough. Everybody else better get used to sucking it. Tampa, Florida, Toronto (nice to have you as our bitch again, thank you), Buffalo, Ottawa? Playing for third, as usual.

I guess I'd like everything Kenny. I'm not into the Cap thing either. I mean, I'm not going to examine the finances of it, as per usual. I've read somewhere that it could work and you have that capologist fella, Ryan Martin. Everybody says he's all smart and shit so, yeah, we'd like it all. Again. Vinnie and little Stephen and, hell, sure. We'll take Letang too if you can swing it because the East is so rough and tumble.

Tick Tock, boy. The Summer of Ken (take 5) is upon us. All we want is what we deserve. Everything.