from Ben Meisner at The Players' Tribune,

All I had to do was step off the chair.

That was it. Literally. Everything else was taken care of.

I’d gone out to the local hardware store and bought the rope.

I’d made the noose. Tied it to a staircase bannister on the second floor of my apartment. Placed the loop around my neck.

I was standing up there, too. Perched on that chair. On my tippy toes … all ready to go.

I just had to take that one last step and it all would’ve been over....

I’m not Connor McDavid or Ovi or Sid. Hell, I’m not even in the NHL.

I’m not famous.

read on