So I was contemplating the game tonight between the Vancouver Canucks and the Montreal Canadians, reading the mind-numbingly-similar 700+ stories about Roberto Luongo. (ie. Luongo is French Canadian! Luongo got his throat bonked last time he was in Montreal! Thus: Every-freakin’ story we wrote for you today is about Roberto Luongo vs Montreal, because we know you just can’t get enough!) and decided I didn’t care. At all. I mean, I care about the game, but enough already on the build-up.
Instead, here’s a selection of oddities in Youtube video weirdness, in tribute to hockey, Canada, America, to an American-pretending-to-be-Canadian, and… well, kittens. Passing the time till the puck drops.
First Up: Underwater Hockey
Second Event: What to do when you’re a rising hockey star saddled with a white-bread, suburban American kid accent? Well, pretend you’re Quebecois, of course!
Following Mercyhurst’s massive comeback against the University at Buffalo in ACHA D1 Hockey. This player was a major part in that comeback, scoring 2 power play goals including the game tying goal after being down 6-2 with 17 minutes left in the 3rd. Thompson is not French Canadian, but insists to pretend he is on camera, which makes the color commentator and interviewer counter with a Russian accent. Other players are brought in, and hilarity ensues as none of them are Quebecois…
Third Strike: A Young Detroit Girl Asks, “What is this ‘Canada’ place you speak of?”
The answer is what everyone certainly already knows: Canada is the land of cute kittens. Cute kittens with universal healthcare (albeit cute kittens with universal healthcare that are smited by God and likely to burn in Hell.)
Fourth Moment of Deep Thought: The kittens might be cute, but Canadian Idiots are at the rink. A Weird Al flashback.
Final Moment of Genius: The Onion.
Digressing from Youtube, in a major NSFW effort (seriously, NSFW x 1000) this video gives me joy. It’s not even a tiny bit related to hockey, but it’s my favorite thing of the past week, and I’m sharing.
(If you’re sensitive to bad language, you’d best just leave now.)
*thanks to Urlesque for a couple links, and to random accident for the rest. And if you really can’t get enough of the Luongo, Luongo, Luongo mania, (sigh) here’s a video on his captaincy from NHL.com released today.