Needless to say, I’m barely coherent. And garbage like this doesn’t help. Doesn’t help a bit.

Khan(!)

Six hours before the Wings playoff opener tonight there were still plenty of tickets available on-line. Unless they get scooped up fast, the 11-year sellout streak at Joe Louis Arena will end.

I’m not in the mood to stress AND defend Hockeytown. Frankly, I can’t. I can’t do both. Empty seats at the Joe for Game 1 of a playoff series is going to be a news item we can’t argue away; bad economy or not. Apathy from the organ-I-zation is partly to blame, but not fully.

Low expectations and recent gut-wrenching disappointment are the true culprits, and the Wings just have to deal with it. John Boy Hahn can spin it all he wants, look befuddled and shake his head. But the bottom line is this: win the first two and watch the crowds come back for Game 5, if there is one.

More must-haves for tonite: The Enigma must be a presence. We’re not asking him to do anything silly like backcheck, but in the Flame zone…move your frigging feet Langer, please. As Jack Black would say, “create something!”. Damn…look at that. A Tenacious D reference on game day. Nice.

The unveiling of the power play. It’s been dormant all year and it has to awaken now. Calgary’s going to come out hitting tonite, a bunch of crazy women swatting anything that moves, frothing and scowling. We have to capitalize on that. Pop a few tonite, lessen the likelihood of violence in future games, turn it into a style more conducive to Wing hockey.

Ahh..but that style is what earned us that nasty treatment from Don Cherry. Shouldn’t the Wings come out and prove that freakshow wrong? Doesn’t it makes sense that the Wings have to prove to the Don Cherry’s of the world that they can hit with Calgary?

No. The only thing Detroit has to prove is that they can win a damn first-round series. That’s it. Doesn’t matter how. Let Cherry spew all the garbage he wants while fat-ass Brett nods his head and eats his nachos. Win and it all goes away.