I couldn't because--like Dougie--I just don't give a shit about the NHL, about hockey, about the purity of our sport and our precious league.

Nope. All I really care about is Detroyet is playing hockey again. The Blues will raise their Central Division yellow sticky in some corporately sponsored arena tonite and the Wings will watch and chortle. They've been through these before...many, many times. Division winners. That's...nice.

The Wings are back, and they're back tonite. Other hockey happens, I guess. And that's ok. But it's all static. It's all boring. To us, and to millions. You either love our Wings because baby Jesus decreed it, or you hate them because Detroit's owned your team for decades and months and days.

St. Louis is a favorite, boy. And the Wings? Oh woe is us. Like Jenny said earlier, everyone's all sad-face when they talk about us. "This is the year, sigh..." Ok. Bookmark that shit. Bookmark the naysayers.

Say it again. St. Louis is a favorite. That is awesome. The little kids who could, who tried, who found so much regular season glory last year only to see a standard end to a normal Blues season, Cup-free again.

So raise that banner tonite, little Bitter ones. Raise the division crown high, high, high. Bellow at it and shake your fists, Blues fans. What an achievement.

Bullet Bob says not to worry because nothing's more fun to slap around than the Awkward Teenage Blues. Take them out past the cornfield where the woods got heavy and give them the back of your hand. Because division titles don't mean jack shit, Sally.

Big brother's in town. Again. It's a Live Blog, bitches.