Canucks and Beyond

You Can't HANDLE the Truth!

08/19/2008 at 5:16pm EDT

The Bertuzzi/Crawford story all over the ‘net today has felt like an episode of deja vu as it reminded me vaguely of something else from the moment I read the first reports. But it wasn’t till I read this headline and opener on TSN that it finally clicked:

image

Sound familiar? No?

It’s that overused theme of sports-equals-war I’m talking about. To make it clearer, Jack Nicholson has kindly offered to help me with a very light re-write:

image

Familiar now? Mystery solved. Perhaps not exactly the same as the movie, but you get the idea.

And here’s the lost theater poster:

image

P.S. My apologies to any purists who object to the military rankings Jack and I chose above.

Is Crawford a Colonel? (I can’t say I know what he should be in this instance.) Is Bertuzzi a Gunnery Sergeant? (I just liked “Gun” in his rank.) Does PFC refer to Private First Class as I intended? (Totally pulled that one out of my ass, I’m afraid).

The fact of the matter is, I don’t actually know wtf I’m talking about what it comes to US military ranks. I just know there’s a lot of douchebags in the plot of this movie. :)

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