Canucks and Beyond

Welcome to Hell!

04/23/2007 at 8:42am EDT
GM Place --Dallas vs Vancouver6 pm PT -- CBC

Game #7

Oh good. Game 7.It's what we live for, right? It's the "ultimate in playoff hockey" right? It's exciting, right?Rather than just throw up, I choose to believe the answers to all those questions are YES! Tonight will be FUN! (Just in that uniquely-terrifying way that Canucks' fans are all-too-familiar with...)Incidentally, I agreed to some dumbassed bet on the side with IwoCPO a couple weeks ago... we're currently at war over the first round point totals of Daniel Sedin vs Pavel Datsysuk. Well, Dattysucky got 5 points for the first round, and Sedin ground to halt with 2 in his first game. So if that Swedish ingrate doesn't pick up at least 3 points tonight, I'll be appearing on this blog dressed in a Wings jersey by next week.(God, the humiliations of my hockey bets just never end...)Go Daniel!C&B Keys to the Game for the Canucks:1. Show up, play hockey, repeat.2. Shoot the puck. At a net. (I'll take any net at this point.) Odds are, Luongo can stop your shots, blindfolded, right now. Just fire at any random red light you see. It'll up the odds of success.3. If you get the urge to do something super-idiotic (like slash a ref? honestly, I'm surprised you haven't managed to include them in your homicide spree as yet) please try and do it only once every 2 minutes. 5-on-3's are a bitch.4. Smile for the cameras. There are some 2 million? people watching you tonight. Make Canucks' fans proud and we'll forgive you for all the recent misery.I Promise: This whole sordid mess will be forgotten if you just WIN THIS GODDAMN GAME.Cheers.

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