But before we answer it—

Oh, for chrissakes…

...the first question comes down to one man, and one answer: Would Mats Sundin accept a trade to Vancouver?

It does? Oh yeah, the no-trade-clause.

Okay, let’s just work under the assumption that Sundin might take such a trade. Because we can’t read minds, for one thing, and for another… well, the first question was the better question:

Does Vancouver want Mats Sundin?

Sundin is still a very good player. He’s not quite great, but he’s not experiencing any significant drop-off in performance or drive. Add him to Vancouver, and a ninth-place team becomes ... what, a fifth-place team?

Believe it or not, fair readers, this is the beginning of an argument about why we should not want Sundin. Say what? Are we too good for 5th place? Any position inside the top-8 that still avoids the Red Wings for a minimum of 4 games sounds like a happy place to me…

Fortunately, Bruce Arthur finally arrives at an actual point:

...if Sundin loves Toronto as much as he says, he’ll likely head back to the big smoke in free agency, anyway, and you’ve sacrificed the most valuable asset in the NHL—young, cheap talent—for the privilege.

Well, now THAT is the only issue that needs to be dealt with. What would you give up for Mats Sundin?

I like him a lot—more than Bruce up there—but the sticking point is the idiocy of two groups of people: (1) the Church of Maple Leafs Sports and Entertainment (and the crazy deals that you just KNOW they’re dreaming up in their heads as we speak); and (2) The idiocy of some yet-to-be-determined GM out there right now, who is also currently convincing himself that Mats Sundin is exactly the final piece to take them over the edge for the Cup (thinking, “What the hell. Who needs those 3 draft picks, 4 prospects, and lunch money? Not us!”)

Someone, somewhere, is about to get taken to the cleaners.

But back to Vancouver, Ed Willes (of Canwest via the National Post), came to this conclusion today:

In the end, there might be a deal here, but it won’t be the one envisioned by The Hockey News—Kesler, Edler, Schneider and a conditional first-rounder for Sundin and a negotiating window. The Leafs aren’t going to get Kesler and Edler, the Canucks two best young players, plus Schneider.

Willes has definitely got that right—Nonis would have to suddenly exchange IQs with the team mascot for that deal to happen.

Which brings me to this: Who on earth came up with that crackpot trade theory at The Hockey News?? Such smart writers they have around there—but geez, boys, apparently 5-martini lunches aren’t out of the question these days?

Unless MLSE suddenly develops the urge to love Vancouver with some unexpectedly-rational deal, I can’t imagine the Sundin Sweepstakes ever favoring Canucks Nation.

Frankly, I think they’d have more luck slapping their orca logo on The Glass Swede.