Canucks and Beyond

Time to Expand the NHL

03/05/2009 at 4:44pm EST

Yes, you read that right. Franchises losing money? Bah. Franchises losing fans? Double-bah!

Quotes from the Weekly World News indicate Gary thinks the NHL is BACK. And with a vengence, baby.

“I know there are reports that 11 of our 30 franchises, lost money last year”, said Bettman. “But honestly, we thought that number would be closer to 20, so we take that as a positive”.
Long ridiculed by hockey fanatics, for his lack of marketing and PR prowess, or understanding of the game itself, Gary is now being hailed by some as one of the few sports commissioners who situated his league well for an economic recession.

Clearly, the next logical step is expansion. Here’s the plan:

More from the WWN (as reliable a source as any other covering the NHL, I’m starting to believe):

“We want to put a team on the moon by 2010”, brags Bettman. “Think about it. We won’t have to share viewership with the other leagues. Space is cold, which works for quality ice. And think of all the cool team nickname possibilities.”
What about travel, one reporter asked Bettman? Said the Commish, “I think that’s an issue, sure, but a workable one.”
In this humble reporters opinion, Gary Bettman is a genius. Just not a smart one.

I thought it was such a great idea, I created my first campaign poster for this plan, to get the ball rolling…

On the other hand, perhaps they can just move NHL HQ to another planet. Hands up: How many fans fantasize about just sending Gary Bettman to the moon?

Thought so. :)

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