With the new Vancouver Canucks jerseys unveiled yesterday, it’s clear to me that I won’t be buying a new Canucks sweater anytime soon. But I recently purchased a vintage-style Luongo jersey, so I’m all set for hockey clothing at the moment anyway.

However, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to lavish some of my hard-earned cash on other hockey toys, so I decided to check out the NHL Shop website today and browsed the merchandise. I finally settled on 8 products that are probably under-appreciated by the fans of Vancouver, Colorado, Detroit, Minnesota, NY Rangers, NY Islanders, Nashville and Toronto. It occurred to me that they were just being marketed all wrong, so I made a few minor changes to their promotion.

note: as will become immediately clear, I have no future in the advertising world.