Canucks and Beyond

PSA: Please Avoid the Clap

08/08/2011 at 6:43pm EDT

Anatomy of a press release.

First, we have the “look who’s using our product!” video. Just to bring you all up to speed, here’s a news broadcast demonstrating this thing (the HTH Clapper), showing footage from Sioux Falls Stampede Hockey:

But it’s the press release that’s following this video clip around that has got to be the most unintentionally-tragic thing I’ve read in ages:

Today’s “smart-phone fan” that grew up playing inside with graphic infused games that pounded on the visual and auditory senses like nothing before, and that is now constantly checking and updating Twitter/Facebook while playing ‘Angry Birds’, is the HTH Clapper demographic.

These smart-phone fans are used to constant stimulation, instant gratification, and continuously using their

HANDS

.

During a live sporting event, HTH Clappers allow fans to ‘continuously use their hands’. Hitting the “Palm Pounders” is cathartic on frustrating plays and absolutely exhilarating on great plays. It provides ‘instant gratification’ throughout the game and gives a feeling that their clapping

really matters

to their team winning!

When fans put them on, even the most laid back stoic fan becomes a

passionate fan

!

You really can’t help becoming more engaged!

Or maybe they meant “enraged”?

(And just so we’re clear: all the emphasis (italics, underlining) is theirs. I actually spared you the 40px font.)

But that’s not all. The release also came with “art”. And just in case you weren’t quite getting the message about the “Angry Birds” generation and their need for “stimulation” and “instant gratfication”, the HTH company would like to hammer it home a little further:

image

image

I started out this post by calling this whole thing unintentionally-tragic, but maybe not. Maybe it’s intentional comedy…. like perhaps I’ve just willingly wandered into an old episode of PUNK’D?

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