9. Everyone can agree on one thing: Detroit Sucks.

Sure, there might be those who say the MLB has the Yankees for a similar unity in their sport, but we all know the NYY organization actually has fans —the Red Wings can’t fill a building.

And as one ranting anti-fan summed it up:

“I have to say, all Red Wings fans suck - fictional or real. Detroit sucks. Their fans suck. Octopi suck. And their arrogance of calling themselves “Hockey Town” most definitely sucks.”

Who doesn’t enjoy that??! Good times are had by all. :)

8. NHL Television Commentators are… “Special”

In no other sport but hockey would anyone who sounds this insane actually have a job.

For contrast, MLB’s Joe Morgan creates more excitement buying himself a hot dog than broadcasting on the air.

7. Because Hockey players do their fighting on the ice…

...and don’t bet on dogs to do it for them.

6. Fastest to the Last

The final 30 seconds of a hockey game generally lasts about… 30 seconds.

But for basketball and football fans… they have to plan on getting comfortable for at least another 30 freakin’ minutes.

5. Lack of Recognizable Stars…

...means no one notices when you’re in the police blotter. At least until Sean Avery starts committing crimes.

4. Colder Temperatures

The relative chilliness in a hockey arena makes the NHL the only major sport nearly guaranteed to make your girlfriend “perk up”. So to speak.

(And no, I can’t believe I just wrote that, either…)

3. Hockey is (Usually) Quite Civilized

I mean, you’ve got 12 guys on the playing surface armed to the teeth with sharp blades and big sticks… It’s a miracle people don’t actually die every weekend.

2. NHL Players Actually Like to Talk to the Media

They’re just excited someone gives a crap.

For comparison, can you imagine asking Terrell Owens what he thinks of global warming? I’m pretty sure Owens can’t even answer a question about football without sounding like a douche.

1. Gary Bettman

Clearly the Gollum of all major sporting league commissioners. And the smartest dude in sports…