Houston goes on to break down the minutes of HNIC last Saturday, utterly focussed on Leaf Land, such as it was. (Again, hardly news.) However, the situation presents a more crucial problem for CBC in the near future.

This seems self-defeating, because when the playoffs start, Hockey Night will be hoping that one million or more viewers become interested in, and watch, the Senators and the Canadiens, as well as the Calgary Flames and the Canucks, assuming they make the playoffs.

Indeed. All those desperate Leafs fans, months of potential hockey slowly vanishing before their eyes. Whoever will they cheer for? The Blue Jays?? Please.

So allow me be the first to start a Join Canucks Nation! campaign… I’d like to welcome all Toronto Maple Leafs fans to the fold. And there’s a lot of you, I know.

I mean, let’s be honest: you’re not going to suddenly start cheering for the Senators or those shocking little upstarts in Montreal, are you?

And Calgary is in Alberta, for godsakes —and everyone knows Ontario hates Alberta; Vancouver approves highly of that position, incidentally.

So will you join us? We’re the least offensive option and we’re a lot like you. And while our team may not be the greatest, it could be worse—at least there’s a chance we’ll be in the playoffs. :)

Think about it. Enough of you come on board, we may bridge decades of hatred across this nation.

And hell… you’ll enjoy our weather. Everyone wins.