Canucks and Beyond

Hairy Problems in Vancouver

05/12/2011 at 5:19pm EDT

Canucks center Ryan Kesler had a heck of a year, but his playoff beard isn’t so hot. Still, you really can’t blame Kesler. Accustomed to being eliminated in the second round, he had no idea what his beard would look like at this point.

TotalProSports

Fair point. And yeah, this isn’t too pretty…

image

The article also includes both Sedins in their Top 12 Worst Beards list (actually Top 13, since apparently everyone thinks they’re Siamese Twins). How’d they make the list?

Two reasons. One, it’s called a playoff beard, not playoff goatee. Being particular about your appearance is a slippery slope, boys. One day you’re carefully trimming your goatee, the next you’re waxing your chest like Cristiano Ronaldo. Two—are you listening, Henrik and Daniel?—grown ass men don’t match. You’re identical twins who play on the same line on the same team. That’s bad enough. Don’t make it worse by sporting matching goatees. Flip a coin to see who shaves, okay?

Granted, the Sedins aren’t growing Beards for the Ages, but I’m not sure you can nail them for matching. They’re twins! It’s not surprising they have similar tastes. Next thing, you’ll be suggesting one of them dyes their hair brunette and starts walking with a limp.

Anyway, for some truly awesome-awful beards, don’t miss Jordan Staal at #6, and Markus Peintner of the Austrian National Team at #5.

Those are some Hockey Beard Hall of Fame nightmares for the ages.

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