Canucks and Beyond

Five Stages of Grief for Canucks Fans

07/18/2008 at 4:55pm EDT

There are 5 stages of grieving, typically understood to be: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

When it comes to Mats Sundin, Vancouver fans have gone through all of them lately. Here’s the breakdown:


Denial: 1 minute after contract was publicized—“The Canucks seriously offered a 37 year old player $20 million for two years?! No! That can’t be true.”

Anger: 2 hours later—“This team is losing its fu#&ing marbles. Fire Mike Gillis or make me a Ducks fan.”

Bargaining: 36 hours after entering this unfamiliar world of big money—“If Sundin does sign in Vancouver, at least fans will have something to cheer about. Here’s a deal for the Hockey Gods: If Mats signs, I’ll quit trashing Gillis and stick with trashing Vigneault.”

Depression: 72 hours of painful reflection later—“Even $20 million apparently isn’t enough to sign on with this Canucks freakshow. Why does the bad man hate us so much?”

Acceptance: 192 hours after it all began—“Maybe he’ll sign, maybe he won’t. At least we’ve got that Bernier dude, right? I’ve just gotta look up his stats again and pretend I know who the #[email protected]* he is…”

It’s been a roller coaster.

But ‘Acceptance’ wasn’t the end of it. 18 days since it began, the ups and downs continue. I don’t think I can stay on this crazy train any longer.

Reasons I no longer give a damn if Sundin comes to Vancouver:

Because I just quit smoking. I’m too busy trying not to rip the heads off live chickens and small children. Sundin’s probably a lot safer in Sweden at the moment.

Because it’s his choice, and his loss or gain. If he’s in no rush, why should I care? While he goes fishing and ponders deep thoughts about his life, I’ll mix cocktails and pretend none of this ever happened.

Because Jason Krog is a superstar in the making. (Don’t argue. Refer to #1…)

And the list could go on.

Ultimately, I just think Mats Sundin is trying to kill Canucks fans. We have to save ourselves… ;)

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