From the comments on Deadspin:

BY MATT_T AT 04:06 PM
That’s my kinda woman.
-A-rod.

BY THEDIRTY D AT 04:23 PM
what is it with Colorado and F’d up stuff happening?

BY CREEPY OLD MAN AT 04:38 PM
Imagine the guy in Denver reading this and saying to himself, “Wait, wasn’t that hoooker I picked up yesterday wearing an Av’s jersey?”

BY MRREDDEVIL AT 04:48 PM
I see Claude Lemieux got some plastic surgery done.

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*thanks to David for being sure I didn’t miss out on this little summer hockey treasure.