A friend (who is, incidentally, a bitter, bitter, dark, crusty, crazed, mean-spirited, horrible, evil, unpleasant - hell, I’m almost out of insults, but here’s the kicker—AVALANCHE fan) forwarded me the Canadian Press column below tonight with the words, “sometimes the jokes just write themselves.”
Ugh. It’s only October 16th, a 3-2 record, and the enemy is already finding justification to take abusive potshots.
But I’ll admit: while I’m semi-hopeful my Dives’ friend gets run over by a truck of Coors Lite, I have little sympathy for the Canucks’ coaching staff, either. They set up Tuesday’s practice, and they shouldn’t be surprised to see something like this in a national, headlining story.
From the CP via TSN,
A chair came out of the stands to take a couple of shifts during the Vancouver Canucks practice Tuesday.
Truth be told, the chair didn’t play that badly. It didn’t get out of position, blocked a few shots and probably had a better plus-minus than some of the players.
While the chair left some of the Canuck players scratching their heads, it was an example of the Vancouver coaching staff searching for ways to improve an NHL team that has struggled to win faceoffs, has suffered too many defensive breakdowns and is third in the Western Conference for goals allowed.
During a drill, the chair was placed about four metres inside the blue-line. The idea was for the Canuck defencemen to keep their heads up, try to shoot around the obstacle, and get some pucks on net.
“I don’t think I’ve seen that one,” said defenceman Aaron Miller, a 13-year veteran. “I really wanted to hit it.”
Goaltender Roberto Luongo shrugged.
“I skated with a chair once when I was five,” he said.
For fun, the cost of the day’s quotable Canucks Deep Thoughts (CDT™)
$1.5 million: “I really wanted to hit it.”
$6 million: “I skated with a chair once when I was five.”
I sure as hell hope someone can tell me a good Avs’ joke. And fast.