Canucks and Beyond

Canucks Stuff: News and Fantasy Troubles

09/09/2008 at 5:24pm EDT

A trail of stories…

Parenting Tip: Ryan Kesler promises to vent his rage on the ice not against his baby daughter. Says Kesler: “Now I might be a little more pesty on the ice and take out some of my frustrations if [Makayla] won’t stop crying in the middle of the night.”

Pavol Demitra, “Offensive juggernaut”? Sure, I’ll bite, but I still won’t count on him for more than about 55 games a year. I don’t care how healthy he feels right now, the dude is the Slovak equivalent of Sami Salo.

Some unsolicited advice for TSN.

Speaking of east coast Canucks “experts”, today’s edition of Leafs Lunch had Darren Dreger and Bill Watters in fine form as they were apparently trying to explain why Mattias Ohlundwants to be traded and why the Sedins definitely will be. Course, neither one ever actually explains how they supposedly know these things.

Gave me a freakin’ headache. (Update: Dreger was apparently talking about next season, at the end of their contracts, at least according to his written report this afternoon. My bad… though I’m not sure that was clear on the air.)

Everyone’s getting geared up and stressed out about their fantasy hockey pools this week as the season draws closer. My advice this year: “Just Say No” to fantasy hockey.

Every season the entire exercise degenerates into this soul-sucking waste of time. Not to mention it’s one hella public way to look like a moron. (Why does no one ever get it when I draft Matt Cooke…?!) So this year I’m out.

Perhaps I’ll start a support group for ex-fantasy hockey leaguers. We’ll do meetings and share coping strategies. We’ll cry a lot as we talk about our pain when Sidney Crosby went down to injury last season while the guy with AO on his roster PM’d us repeatedly with weird 90’s trash talk like, “In yo FACE, Sissy Fan!”

God, I’m having painful flashbacks. Deep breath.

“The first step is admitting I have a problem…”

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