Starting Tuesday, the Vancouver Canucks begin what I’ve come to think of as their first playoff series, a best-of-7 effort which will lead them at full steam—or half mast—into the 2009 playoffs. Big games, as they’ll determine the team’s final placement in the standings.
But it’s also important to remember that this season-ending series features six teams with fans who might arguably be more stressed out than Canucks fans: Minnesota, Edmonton, Colorado, Los Angeles, Calgary and Anaheim. So why not make an effort and invite an “enemy” fan over for to your place to watch each game?
In order to better entertain your guests, the following list is a cocktail menu designed to make them all feel at home by way of your generous hospitality. Make an effort and they’ll know how much you care.
MINNESOTA WILD
Grenadine
Creme de Mint
Club Soda
Provide a chaser of Pepto Bismol and caffeine. Always lots of caffeine.
Virgin Drink Option:
Grenadine
Ground Spinach
Lemon-Lime Soda
Served in a Derek Boogaard-endorsed sippy cup.
ANAHEIM DUCKS
Red Wine
Ginger Ale
Garnish with Mickey Mouse ears. (Note: Garnish the drink, not your friend. Anaheim fans can be a bit sensitive when it comes to references to animated Disney characters.)
Virgin Drink Option: Berry Punch Kool Aid
EDMONTON OILERS
Rye Whiskey
Blue Curacao
Vodka
Equal parts, straight up. Suggest that your friend repeat as necessary each time the Oilers cough up a goal. (But please, do not allow them to exceed 70 or 80 shots.)
Virgin Drink Option: 10W-40
COLORADO AVALANCHE
Coors Lite
Pour the beer into a glass and put glass in the freezer till liquid is frozen solid. Serve with a spoon. (For bonus hospitality, be sure to provide blinders to your guest during the game. It’s a thoughtful gesture of mercy and your Avs-Fan friends will thank you.)
Virgin Drink Option: Coors Lite is still a safe choice.
CALGARY FLAMES
Find the most expensive Rye Whiskey you can, then add bitters to it. Lots of bitters.
Virgin Drink Option:
Be creative. Perhaps invent something called “The Keenan”? Recipe ideas welcome.
LOS ANGELES KINGS
Whiskey
Sweet Vermouth
Bitters
IceLA’s favorite inferiority-complex cocktail, otherwise known as a “Manhattan.”Virgin Drink Option:Not applicable. There are no virgins in Los Angeles.______________________________________
Disclaimer: If you try any of the recipes above, you’re out of your freakin’ mind. 
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