Starting Tuesday, the Vancouver Canucks begin what I’ve come to think of as their first playoff series, a best-of-7 effort which will lead them at full steam—or half mast—into the 2009 playoffs. Big games, as they’ll determine the team’s final placement in the standings.
But it’s also important to remember that this season-ending series features six teams with fans who might arguably be more stressed out than Canucks fans: Minnesota, Edmonton, Colorado, Los Angeles, Calgary and Anaheim. So why not make an effort and invite an “enemy” fan over for to your place to watch each game?
In order to better entertain your guests, the following list is a cocktail menu designed to make them all feel at home by way of your generous hospitality. Make an effort and they’ll know how much you care.
Creme de Mint
Provide a chaser of Pepto Bismol and caffeine. Always lots of caffeine.
Virgin Drink Option:
Served in a Derek Boogaard-endorsed sippy cup.
Garnish with Mickey Mouse ears. (Note: Garnish the drink, not your friend. Anaheim fans can be a bit sensitive when it comes to references to animated Disney characters.)
Virgin Drink Option: Berry Punch Kool Aid
Equal parts, straight up. Suggest that your friend repeat as necessary each time the Oilers cough up a goal. (But please, do not allow them to exceed 70 or 80 shots.)
Virgin Drink Option: 10W-40
Pour the beer into a glass and put glass in the freezer till liquid is frozen solid. Serve with a spoon. (For bonus hospitality, be sure to provide blinders to your guest during the game. It’s a thoughtful gesture of mercy and your Avs-Fan friends will thank you.)
Virgin Drink Option: Coors Lite is still a safe choice.
Find the most expensive Rye Whiskey you can, then add bitters to it. Lots of bitters.
Virgin Drink Option:
Be creative. Perhaps invent something called “The Keenan”? Recipe ideas welcome.
LOS ANGELES KINGSWhiskey
IceLA’s favorite inferiority-complex cocktail, otherwise known as a “Manhattan.”Virgin Drink Option:Not applicable. There are no virgins in Los Angeles.______________________________________
Disclaimer: If you try any of the recipes above, you’re out of your freakin’ mind.