Canucks and Beyond

A Scientific Study of Some NHL Goalies

10/13/2007 at 10:00pm EDT

Allow me to present this scientifically-based, docu-dramatic metaphor, which fully illustrates the personality attributes of a select sample of NHL goalies:

LSD Spider (starring Jose Theodore)
Caffeine Spider, (starring Dominik Hasek)
Marijuana Spider, (starring Ilya Bryzgalov)
Alcohol Spider, (starring Ed Belfour)
Crack Spider, (starring Roberto Luongo)

Spiders On Drugs

So, yeah: the cracked-out Vancouver Spider wins.Scientific proof that Vancouver is TOTALLY winning the Cup this year, dammit!Alrighty then. I’m off to the bar to watch the game. (Shockingly—despite the evidence presented in preparing this post—I am still sober.)Go Canucks…

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