Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Conspiracies Abound!!

First, well not first…we’ll get to first in a minute.  A few months ago one of the chuckleheads over at The Site That Charges Idiots To Pay For Rumors wrote a column predicting The Implosion by Christmas. 

Not sure what Christmas he meant by that, or what his definition of implosion is/was.  But the Christmas I grew up ruining for my brother by waking him up with dirty socks in his mouth came and went without any of the predicted controversy in Wing camp.

I truly have no idea why anyone (blogger or mainstreamer) would consider adding their name to the list of knuckleheads who actually write for Dwayne Klessel, but they do and each thing they write is open for direct fire from yours truly.  Frankly, I occasionally visit the site specifically to see if a Wing blogger has been added to the column of lackeys who submit swill there.  Oh, I wait for the day he/she appears.

Today’s tool?  Dwayne his own self.

I do need to add that GMs are constantly tinkering and many of them are on the hot seat right now. They want to keep their jobs like everyone else does. You would be amazed at how much talk is already going on about UFA’s this coming summer between agents and GMs. I hear about stuff everyday, and after the deadline that will intensify I am sure. What I am hearing now is a lot of, “Well if we can clear enough room, we know _____ has interest in coming here.”

Yes, Dwayne, we’re amazed GM’s are looking one month ahead to the deadline.

Yes, Dwayne, we’re sure you “hear about stuff every day.”  Get hot on that collusion story. We’re all waiting.

That manifesto followed this gem.

VERY Hot rumor right now. According to three different sources, plus I have had three people in the media emailing me about this in the last two hours.

Speculation is that The Hawks would get either St. Louis or Richards in the deal. I would imagine that Tampa would get something in addition as well…

Thankfully, I’m not the only one.  One of his own paying readers called him out on this one.

Oh Eklund, what will you think of next? There are a few reasons why this doesn’t make sense….
1. St. Louis is T-2nd in scoring and he has the most affordable contract of Tampa’s “big 3”. You think they will be the Boston of this season? St. Louis is RW, Chicago already has their #1 RW in Havlat.

2. Richards is very overpaid, why would Chicago want to take that on? They are already trying to dump overpaid players, why take on one more.

I think this rumor will going into the very full category of something Ekland made up that never happened.
I will say this though, IF this does happen, Chicago wins out big time. Khabibulin could be replaced next season via free agency and at a cheaper price…Biron, Mason etc…

- Jimi

Will I take a certain level of offense at any man intentionally spelling his name “Jimi”, I applaud him for his response.  For every piece of BS Dwayne throws out there, there is an equal amount of fact and logic to combat his imagination.

Dwayne’s reply?

I agree with some of your points however, I do not make things up. If I did we’d have far more rumors around here.

God, if I was a chick I’d be saying “LOL” right about now.  Give me an hour and I’ll tally the trades this guy made up out of thin air.  Luckily for him, he didn’t make his first million writing fiction.

I made my own fame in a completely different world until the lockout came and I started the blog when I felt the sport I worshipped was being thrown to the dogs. And people responded. My few contacts quickly spread to hundreds of others. People from a sport that had imploded on itself. Now I have become part of it. And it still holds a certain magic to it.

A completely different world, eh Dwayne?  Enough of this, I have to go watch the Wedding Singer.  You’ve seen it, right Dwayne?



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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com