Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

“Garcia had long hair and makeup and was wearing an Avalanche jersey…”

My only concern is that it’s early in the morning and I may not be prepared to give this story the treatment it deserves.  I’m going to try, but I have to tell you that I’m a little nervous right now.  Tooling around the Wing blogs and I just be-bopped over to Behind the Jersey.  What do I find?  A frigging goldmine.  Gather the kids.  Warm the milk.  Find that John Denver cd you keep handy for special occasions and pop it in.  Because we have, that’s right, fun for the whole family.

It seems that I was born to write these two sentences:  a cross-dressing male prostitute was arrested yesterday in Denver.  According to various reports uncovered by Deadspin, Police described Darren Garcia as being 27, having long hair, significant amounts of makeup and wearing…

...a Colorado Avalanche jersey.

Thank you god.

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  Tags: transvestite+avalanche+fans

Fischler: For Devils, Losing Rafalski Was Addition By Subtraction

At least one New York-based writer is thinking Ken Holland overpaid for Brian Rafalski.

I know one Devils season ticket holder who told me straight out that she wouldn’t be back next season if Rafalski was still wearing a New Jersey uniform. I know another regular at Devils’ games who liked to kid that Brian had a day job as a baker; “He specialized in turnovers.” Personally I was a Rafalski fan but only at a reasonable price. Rachunek is 27 and is getting paid $1.4 million. Rafalski is going to be 34 in September; he’s getting $6 million a year. Who’s nuts? Not Lou.

More from Stan Fischler.

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It’s July. YOU Find Some Hockey News.

The subject of this post should give you an idea of the hard-hitting, late-breaking items I have in store for you.  A hint?  Sure.  Groupies, potheads and Peklund.

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Day 3: Ramping It Up

The Emperor has chimed in.  Kuklas Inc. will provide a 25 dollar gift certificate to IceJerseys.com for the winner of the “Replace the Fire On Ice Graphic and Slogan Because It Sucks” contest.  First two days have been eventful.  HockeyinHD submitted his child-like brilliance on Monday, then whined like a scorned child yesterday when Matt Schwartz forwarded his smoldering wallet of excellence.

This contest will be ongoing until training camp opens in September.  Then we’ll re-post all your submissions and leave it up to you to vote on the winner, because democracy is important to us.  Remember, .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) along with a slogan if it’s not obvious on the graphic

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Day 2: What’s In Your Wallet?

Day 2 of the “Replace the Fire On Ice Graphic Because It Sucks” campaign is rolling right along.  Matt Schwartz of Letsgowings.com fame has thrown his hat in the ring and his effort is worthy of your applause.



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I LOL’d…Literally

Every time I see those three capital letters strung together I have to (a) shotgun a beer, (b) email my friends from high school to discuss failed conquest attempts from two decades ago and (3) watch six consecutive identical Sportscenters, waiting for a hockey reference that never comes.  Why? Because, as we’ve touched on before, “LOL” and all its acronymical (yep, we just go ahead and make words up here at A2Y) sisters don’t fit into what I would refer to as “guy vernacular”. 

But yesterday, I read something that made me—yes, literally—“laugh out loud.”

And I’d like to share it with you in hopes that you will also.

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And The Contest Begins…

We have our first entry in the “Replace the Fire On Ice Thing Because It Sucks” contest.  Before I show you HockeyinHD‘s art though, a little investigation is required.  I was perusing the LGW message boards and saw a post from Icer who pointed out something we already know.  The Wing advertising geniuses aren’t exactly original.

Fire on Ice is the name of a synchronized skating team in Australia....

Also, the title of a documentary about figure skaters…..


And finally, the name of one of the forums over at calgarypuck.com…..


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Early Returns: Fire On Ice Sucks and Sucks Hard

“Fire On Ice”, the slick marketing tool and logo design for the Wings’ ‘07-‘08 season, has elicited quite the response from A2Y readers since we posted it here yesterday.  Featuring a pinkish hue, empty JLA seats and all the indicators of a power point presentation designed 6 minutes before the meeting starts, it would appear that—once again—the Wing communications/advertising romper room has failed.

But we’re all about presenting solutions when we see problems.  Evidence?  This.

Problem: “Fire On Ice” is a low-rent, hastily designed, dumpster diving bad idea of a device that won’t grab any new fans and could likely drive many of us away.

Solution:  A contest.

Yes, by god, a contest.  Here’s the deal.  Design your new graphic, complete with slogan, and .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).  I’ll post them as I receive them and we’ll all vote a few days prior to training camp.  The winner will be displayed throughout the season on the front page here and maybe we’ll even work a prize into the equation.

Remember: Wit wins in every situation. Sarcasm is encouraged and denigration of other teams and fan bases is certainly well within the boundaries of our definitions of good taste.

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More Marketing Genius

Fire on Ice brother.  Fire on Ice.  The Wings, in their never-ending quest to keep their fans informed and happy, have unveiled next year’s marketing slogan.  If you haven’t seen it, here’s the image to accompany it.


Like it?  Great.  You’ve got the banners, the Winged Wheel in a position of strength amongst the logos of some other squads who will fall far short of Detroit’s ‘08 Cup coronation and an action verb…“igniting.”  Powerful stuff.

But hey…take a closer look.  What are all those little boxes beneath the banners?

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Kris Draper: Hockey Exec

As you may know, Draper has ventured into the hockey ownership/management arena.  He’s entered into a partnership with the Flint Generals and seems to be setting himself up to stay in the game after his retirement in 2020. 

“I had an opportunity to get involved in the business end of hockey, learn how things run, and I’m interested in that. The game has been so good to me. It’s something I’ve done my whole life. When I’m finished playing, just because my career comes to an end doesn’t mean I’m done with hockey.”

More from the Flint Journal.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com


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