Abel to Yzerman

Abel to Yzerman

I NOW Consider The Capitals The Greatest, Most Elite Team In NHL History

02/09/2017 at 6:36pm EST

Greg Balantine, of The Puck Stops Here fame, has been sending me analytics on PS4 messenger. His statistics, as we all know, have always defined greatness, just as the sheer strength of his prose always made us pause and cry a little, not unlike your reaction to a fine thespian performance from the likes of Donny Most in Happy Days.

Greg Balantine despised me like no man has ever hated another in the history of blogger animosity.

He hasn't actually been corresponding with me, just seething from afar like the scorned little boy he's always been.

But I've used his formulas to reach the following conclusion.

The Washington Capitals are +66 in goals for/against. The Detroit Red Wings are -21.

The Capitals have 80 points to the Wings' 56.

The Caps have won ten consecutive home games and the Wings won six games in a row like 5 months ago. Since then they've been a really shitty hockey team.

The Capitals, according to the research I've done today based on the statistical formulas Balantine created while sucking on a pacifier and wearing footy pajamas, are going to defeat our Red Wings by 12.7632 goals tonight.

And we are going to Live Blog it, bitches.

Remember: nothing I've said about Greg Balantine in this blog post was actually true. All was used for comedic effect.

Except for the footy pajamas. I'm pretty sure that little kid still wears footy pajamas.

LGRW and FKH ASAP.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that.

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