The Malik Report
by George Malik on 09/11/11 at 08:43 AM ET
As you’ve probably surmised by now, I haven’t made it up to Traverse City for the Wings’ prospect tournament, and after some difficult decision-making on my part, I’ve decided that my health’s not recovered to the point that I could go up and do my job. My goal now is to attempt to head up for the main camp, but as many of you generously donated to specifically receive reports from the prospect tournament, I’ll be issuing refunds as necessary.
Put simply, in between the successive technical issues which persisted over the past week, I became incredibly ill and am still just starting to recover. I’m very sorry about all of this, and while I don’t want to get into the details of what’s been ailing me because doing so might mean that I’ll never get another job, you’re owed more than your money back. While there’s more than a little stigma attached to admitting something that may change how I’m perceived, for better or worse, for the rest of my career, Paul’s willing to support me with this, so…
I’ve dealt with both an anxiety disorder and major depression since I was 14, and despite proper medical attention, it remains a chronic illness that is moderate to severe in nature. I can cope with it well enough to maintain this blog most of the time, but depressive episodes still occur from time to time, and when a nasty one gets past my defenses, it impairs my ability to function. I had a pretty severe episode last week and I’m still recovering from it. What genes and brain chemistry have dealt me in terms of my anxiety and depression merit neither sympathy or excuses on my part as most everyone deals with a chronic illness of some kind—“It is what it is,” if you will, and s*** happens from time to time.
Given the tragedies the hockey world suffered this past summer, however, if there’s ever a time to stand up and say that there are people who deal with similar issues, I guess it’s now. People who suffer from mental illnesses are, at least generally speaking, neither “crazy” nor uncommon.* I’m one of them.
As a professional writer I’ve certainly learned to develop a thick skin, however, so the ups and downs of doing what I do, cheering for the team I adore and interacting with my audience aren’t ever an issue. Writing is in fact a solace for me, a relative constant that allows me to be of use and be useful to others, even if it is just in talking about a kids’ game for a living.
My brain chemistry’s just screwy, and despite my best attempts to balance things out, sometimes I still get knocked for a loop. That’s what happened this past week, and it’s prevented me from attending the Wings’ prospect tournament. I’m just sorry that my illness got in the way of being able to do what I love for a living, for the best readers any blogger could ever hope for.
I hope to be ready to go up to Traverse City for the Wings’ main camp this week, which means you’ll get half of what you paid for, so I owe many of you a refund, and I’m very sorry about the inconveniences I’ve caused.
I’ll do my damnedest to get back on my feet ASAP, and I don’t mean to excuse myself from my responsibilities, but instead to simply explain what’s been going on. I don’t want to be the God-damned “depression blogger,” and I’d hoped that I would never have to write this entry, but it is what it is.
*I’ll readily admit that my maternal grandmother was bat**** insane, and yes, there are nut jobs out there. The “bad crazy” does exist, of course, but most of us are relatively, well…No more abnormal than anyone else.
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About The Malik Report
The Malik Report is a destination for all things Red Wings-related. I offer biased, perhaps unprofessional-at-times and verbose coverage of my favorite team, their prospects and developmental affiliates. I've joined the Kukla's Korner family with five years of blogging under my belt, and I hope you'll find almost everything you need to follow your Red Wings at a place where all opinions are created equal and we're all friends, talking about hockey and the team we love to follow.