Petshark: Talking Stick
by petshark on 03/22/12 at 05:20 PM ET
FTF hears the Sound of Silence. I hear other things in my head right now. Like “Mike Richards wants all the shorties. Easy ones, tough ones, dirty ones pretty ones, all the shorties. There’s nothing like a short-handed chance to get Mike Richards off the schneid.”
That’s what I was thinking Monday night. Why weren’t the Sharks thinking that by Tuesday night? I hear my cousin saying “I’m sorry your team forgot their skates tonight,” after that game in LA. But that isn’t an imaginary sound in my head. Someone actually said that.
I also hear “we have our answer” to the question being posed by the Year of the Dragon: who is for real, who are the pretenders? This year will show it. Not like the Year of the Tiger when chaos reigns and long shots have a chance. It is really noisy in my head right now.
We don’t, of course, know yet. There are a few games left but I keep hearing that in my head: “we have our answer.” I kind of like “Mike Richards wants all the shorties” better, because at least someone is happy in that scenario.
I hear myself saying “Nooooooo!!!! Not Penner! Not Penner!!! It can’t be Penner!” What a frigging nightmare that game was.
Maybe the Sharks did give a better effort in LA than against Anaheim. But since it was the second game it mattered more and what they gave was not enough. It was less like a war cry and more like a death rattle.
Tonight we get to see the Bruins. The Bruins have had some trouble with their own demons lately, stumbling and failing when they should not. But “they should not” doesn’t have the same meaning for the Bruins as it does for the Sharks. They might feel stupid or embarassed by unexpected losses right now but they won’t be bumped out of the playoffs.
In theory, the Sharks should be, far and away, the more desperate team tonight. In theory.
There are these promotional flyers on the seats for tonight’s game. They’ve been there for a couple of games now. Only today did I really see them. They are about putting down deposits for 2012-13 season tickets so you can get priority access to playoff tickets.
Do they mean these playoffs? Of course. But how horrible, how inconceivable, how shocking and suddenly real is this disaster. Can this season last as long as May?
I had an old horse named May. She came to be known as the Lazarus horse among our vets. We gave permission to euthanize her at least four times over the years. But she kept getting up, vets kept seeing that little glint in her eye as they prepared the lethal injections. They kept knowing it was time and then thinking maybe not. Always while we slept on it, always at the last minute, she would rise again, shake it off and carry on.
What do you in these times? Do you yell and shout and kick the old horse in the behind? Tell her to get up again, don’t just lie there dying? Or do you accept that this time, this time finally, this is the time. She will not rise again. Tell her she’s a good old horse, she did well, she doesn’t have to fight anymore. The doctor is coming, she won’t hurt much longer. Let her die in peace.
Nine games left. This season is very old. It is surely on its last legs. It cannot go on, look how it begs us to let it go. Let it go.
When the doctor comes with his needles, will it lie quietly, or will it thrash and struggle and try to crawl away, knowing that this time the doctor is serious, this time he has come to kill it?
Marty Turco has bright yellow pads the likes of which I have never seen. Tim Thomas has never lost here. Under normal circumstances I would say this means he is due a loss. But I can’t bet on this poor old season as she lies there, gasping, bleary-eyed, begging for death.
Handzus is likely to play tonight. He participated in line rushes and he left the ice well before the scratches. Can Czechoslovakia save us?
Banamine is a great drug, though not approved for human consumption. It is a very potent pain killer, you know, like many horse drugs are. It has kept many a horse this side of the dead line, fending off pain that would otherwise kill them. In the throes of pain, horses might run through a fence or bang their heads on the ground with dire consequences. I don’t think it would help the Sharks. I don’t think they need to play stoned out of their minds. But it might help prevent self-inflicted head injuries among the fans. It just might.
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About Petshark: Talking Stick
Native of Northern California. Hockey fan since 1998... sort of... there's a hiatus in there that I still can't explain.
I want to know about anything and everything related to the sport and the spectacle. I watch, I react, I write it down.
My interest in the Sharks was initially a matter of geographic convenience and regional loyalty because that seemed to be how it worked. I had no prior interest (at all-- AT ALL) in professional sports of any kind. When I met hockey, it might have set off a chain reaction of general sports fandom. It hasn't, I don't think it will. At all.
Since then, that interest developed into full blown (mostly sort of usually almost completely) exclusive loyalty to the Sharks.
I started blogging a couple years ago on wordpress. I still occasionally put things there that I don't think fit here because they are not about the Sharks. Wherever my words wander, here on Kuklas Korner, they will (usually) hang on to a teal thread.
I can be found in cyberspace on Twitter @petshark47, or emailed at email@example.com