by Mike Chen on 06/29/09 at 06:11 PM ET
What’s going to happen when snarky Ron Wilson, explosive John Tortorella, and Scott Gordon get together to run Team USA? Here’s a secret transcript from the future as the three coaches have their first meeting to discuss playing style. Let the wackiness ensure…
Ron Wilson: Ok, so we’re going to go with a passive 1-2-2 forecheck…
John Tortorella: No! Damn it, Ron, safe is death! Especially against Team Canada.
RW: Listen John, I may not be as *cough* brilliant as you but I’ve been around a while and I think I’ve seen enough to know when to use a passive system.
JT: Oh, good for you, Ron. You think an old bastard like this can keep up?
RW: Wait, wait, what’s this? (reaches into back pocket) Oh, look, it’s a video of me winning the 96 World Cup. On my iPhone 3GS.
JT: You can 3GS my balls, Ron. I’ve won a Stanley Cup.
RW: I could have won a Stanley Cup with that roster.
JT: You couldn’t get out of the second round with the 72 Canadian team.
Scott Gordon: Um, guys?
RW/JT: Shut up, Scott.
SG: (walks over to the vending machine) Crazy bastards…
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