Kukla's Korner

Sidney Crosby Dances, I Mean, Fights

A lot of people hate Sidney Crosby. I’m not one of them. I think he’s extremely talented, has a great work ethic, and is one of the most creative players in the game. So this isn’t just flat-out “Crosby’s a (expletive)” bit of bashing.

But seriously, what the hell was he doing when he, um, attempted to fight Brett McLean? If you haven’t seen it, here’s the video.

At first, I thought Crosby was trying to do it pro-wrestling style—but not the wrestlers who are in the focus of the camera. No, it’s more like when the background guys have to look like they’re fighting in order to buy time for when they need to dramatically jump into whoever’s moment it is. If you were in high school or college in the late 1990s, you’ll know what I’m talking about when I say it’s like the miscellaneous NWO guys tying up with miscellaneous WCW guys while Sting beats down Hollywood Hogan.

But you know, in order for that to happen, there’s gotta be actual, you know, fighting happening. And I didn’t see that from Mr. Crosby, despite what Bob Errey says in the clip (“What a fight by Sidney Crosby!” Errey gushes after he wipes the drool from his mouth). There was back and forth movement, there were arms flailing, and there was, well, something going on…but it wasn’t fighting. It looked more like touching an electric fence, like this:

Perhaps he’s a big fan of Jarvis Cocker and Pulp like me. Jarvis does have a unique dancing style on stage, and maybe Crosby was just trying to express himself. Common People, indeed.

After some pondering, I think I figured it out. Sid wasn’t fighting, he was dancing in his best impersonation of Elaine from Seinfeld. Watch the Crosby video again, then watch this clip from Seinfeld.

“A full-body dry heave.” Yeah, I think that describes it well. Next stop, Dancing With The Stars. Go get ‘em, Sid.

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  Tags: sidney+crosby

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