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Hey gang-  This is a one off piece that is related to my 3 on 3 post tomorrow.  I am sitting here watching the Red Wings and I started thinking about hunger.  Not because I was hungry...OK well not ONLY because I was hungry but I was thinking about hockey players and the hunger they have to win.  Then I started thinking about what would each team eat to satisfy that hunger (it was a long way from point A to point B but lets not analyze me).  So I figured what the heck lets give it a shot.  My plan was to post this tomorrow included with the 3 on 3 but that seemed to be too much so here is a separate post.

  1. Anaheim Ducks- What grass?  Fish?  Google please help...Small Fish, Fish Eggs, Snails, Worms.  Grass.  I’m stupid.
  2. Arizona Coyotes- rodents, rabbits, fish and frogs, and larger game like deer
  3. Boston Bruins- A bruin is a bear right?  So like whatever they want.
  4. Buffalo Sabres- MEAT.  Like friggin Mastodons.  COME ON
  5. Calgary Flames- Flames need fuel so basically anything.
  6. Carolina Hurricanes-  Hurricanes obviously eat anything in its path.  That counts
  7. Chicago Blackhawks-  For the sake of argument let's call it a black hawk.  They feed on small mammals, snakes, insects and even fish
  8. Colorado Avalanche- Again like a hurricane anything in its path
  9. Columbus Blue Jackets- Wikipedia says the name is based on the civil war uniforms.  Civil war soldiers ate whatever was available. 
  10. Dallas Stars-  You don’t even want to know what a star eats.  EVERYTHING
  11. Detroit Red Wings- Ummm.  My soul a little every game?
  12. Edmonton Oilers- Oilers similar to Blue Jackets eat food.  Yum
  13. Florida Panthers- I think a panther eats whatever the hell it wants.  You want to tell one no?
  14. Los Angeles Kings-  Same answer as a Panther.
  15. Minnesota Wild-  Things that exist in the wild eat whatever evolution and Nick Lidstrom tells them too.
  16. Montreal Canadiens-  Poutine
  17. Nashville Predators- A very general name so anything from animals to things that are illegal in most states. 
  18. New Jersey Devils-  Human souls and you may not know this, Poutine. 
  19. New York Islanders- Well let's look at how islands are made.  The ice age (right?) and if glaciers can sink the titanic...bingo bango gang. 
  20. New York Rangers-  Let's assume it is like a Ranger in the military sense.  They eat chow. 
  21. Philadelphia Flyers-  The flyers were named in a fan contest.  Fans are people.  People eat food.
  22. Pittsburgh Penguins- Crosby sucks.  Also fish. 
  23. Ottawa Senators- I don’t exactly know how the senate works in Canada but I am going out on a limb and saying they can eat whatever they want.
  24. San Jose Sharks- PEOPLE
  25. St Louis Blues-  The blues are all about feeling bad.  Just like blues fans who eat a lot of BBQ and tears.  Not as bad as you might think.
  26. Tampa Bay Lightning-  Atmosphere.  Seriously never be near lightning.  It will kill you.
  27. Toronto Maple Leafs-  Maple Leafs grow on trees and trees live on water and strong roots.  So let's say the hockey team eats coaches and careers.
  28. Vancouver Canucks-  Canucks are just Canadians right so Poutine. 
  29. Washington Capitals-  Hopefully the Capital eats Trump. 
  30. Winnipeg Jets-  They eat fuel.  Please don’t eat fuel.  You won’t be a jet.

Filed in: NHL Teams, | KK Members Blog | Permalink


ilovehomers's avatar

Sharks and Leafs - lol!

Honourable mention to the Wings and Hurricanes; “It counts.” hahaha

Posted by ilovehomers on 01/06/17 at 09:54 AM ET

Kate from PA now in SC-made in Detroit's avatar

Now I’m hungry. Some great analogys Axe. Your blogs are upbeat, and, it’s a good thing to read something upbeat. Thank you.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from PA now in SC-made in Detroit on 01/06/17 at 01:47 PM ET


dead wings on good game against LA MEANS NOTHING

Posted by hockeyrob1195 on 01/06/17 at 03:01 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I think you missed the obvious, “Red Wings” are the spicy version of wings in general.  Oh crap, now I’M hungry.  LOL

Posted by calquake from Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst on 01/06/17 at 04:18 PM ET

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