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Abel to Yzerman

Up 2-0?  Awesome.  Voox?  Keep ‘Em Comin’.

If you don’t know who Voox is, and if you don’t know his job among the 19?  You might want to stop reading.  As many of you realize by now, the lead to every post shows up on the main page.  But what follows below is an A2Y exclusive.

So if you’re not a Wing fan, and I mean an obsessed one, a pathetic one, one who may stay in bed all day tomorrow if the Wings lose tonite?  Then reading the rest of this probably isn’t something you’d enjoy.

Because I’m here to tell you that I am stressed the F out.  Something about this game tonite has me pacing already.  Something about this game forced me to crack one at 1100.  Is it Datsyuk?  Maybe.  Why?  Because of this.  Mike, just what the fu** are you talking about?

The Anti-Digger

“Nothing (Datsyuk) has done today would give us any indication,” said Babcock.

Dude. Seriously.  Today’s not the day to be messing with us.  WTF is “nothing he’s done today would give us any indication” mean?  So when you saw him at breakfast or whatever and he was (a) limping (b) not limping (c) grimacing or (4) being wheeled around by Darren Helm while Bob Seger’s “Nutbush City Limits” blared in the background?  Which was it bitch?

I’m betting none of the above.  I’m betting Datsyuk’s been in a soft cast since Tuesday night and I’m also betting he’s not playing tonite and everybody knows it but you and me.  Uncle Mike knows it. Dangle and Tick Tock all know it. The Diggers do and so do his teammates.

My guess is Datsyuk won’t be in the lineup tonight. They might be waiting on something, but his equipment wasn’t set out in the visitors locker room after the morning skate.

MacLeod again.  And let’s get dirty.  Ready?  If Datsyuk’s not in tonite it’s because a shot won’t help. And if a shot won’t help then I guess that means it’s broken.  And if it’s broken?

If it’s broken then go ahead and bend over because we won’t be seeing him skate again until September.  And if he’s out the rest of the playoffs?  Well, if that’s the case then our Dozen is doubtful.  We’re going to need both Zetterberg and Datsyuk against what’s coming next, and yeah I’m thinking ahead.

Malkin and Thid are on fire.  On frigging fire.  If Dangle doesn’t score another goal the rest of May and June we can still retain the Cup.  What we need is his defense on one of those two.

With or without Datsyuk, I’m worried about tonite.  Then again, I’ve been STFO for every playoff game since god invented them back in 1986.  So tonite’s no different really. But to be specific, I’m concerned about those mythical “first ten minutes”.  You don’t think Chicago’s going to be absolutely flying?  More than any game in recent memory, the Wings are going to have to stave that team off in the early going.  Advantages of course will be if the young dumb kids can spend some quality time in the box early.  That would be so very nice.

We are now six games away from the Cup.  Ten wins down.  And Chris Osgood has had one bad game out of 12.  He’s been consistently steady.  Occasionally spectacular and he stole Game 2.  Yep.  He stole that bitch.  The Wings were tired and Gary’s refs were shafting us again.  Osgood shut the door, then he did it again and again. But there’s this.

As good as he was on Tuesday, he’ll need to be even better tonite.  Especially if Dangle’s out.

I think he will be.  And despite some claims from some muck-raking idiots, he’s in serious Conn Smythe contention.  Is Chris Osgood “elite”?  I have no idea because I’d bet most smart people would consider the term “elite” to be fairly subjective.  I know this, though.  The motherfu**er wins when it counts.  He. Just. Wins.

If somebody wants to continually jab at Osgood’s career and use the Hall of Fame as some sort of carrot to tease Wing fans with?  Let him.  The guy may blog on the same site I do, but I have no allegiance to that kind of idiocy.  He’s preying on the fact that you’re stressed out.  That’s what happens when your team is this deep.  Let him run his BS over and over and over.  The guy’s a tool.

Ty Conklin. An American hockey player so he’s obviously somebody Mike Babcock hates, right?  Wrong. That price is wrong, bitch. Apparently, JR unwrapped his lips from a microphone long enough to issue an apology to Chris Chelios.  See this?


Babcock said of Roenick’s comments, “Yeah, it bothered me, because it’s a blatant lie.’‘

As Chelios was getting ready to address the media after the morning skate, Kris Draper walked by and said, “Sing ‘O Canada’, Cheli.’‘

Chelios said Roenick phoned him to apologize.

Aww. He apologized to Chelios, eh?  That’s nice.  Guess what?  Wrong.  Roenick should be apologizing to Mike Babcock. Maybe he has, I don’t know. But if he hasn’t, he should.  What a classless bitter bitch.

And Chelios?  He needs to be stronger than this.

“J.R. is J.R. The NHL would be boring without J.R. Nothing to it,’’ Chelios said.

Chelios needs to say something like, “Roenick is a mouthy idiot who has no clue what goes on in this room or between me and my coach. Not only that, he’s a liar.”

If Chelios isn’t going to say that then you have to wonder what he told Roenick.

I brought Conklin up for a reason, then I get on a rant.  Here’s what brought him to mind in the first place.  Tuesday night, pre-game. I’ve got my daughter and nephew on the glass watching warmups.  My daughter’s 7.  And she’s now a Wing fan for life.

Conklin tapped on the glass, right above her nose.  She looked up at him and he pointed her toward the photographer’s slot in the glass.  She fights her way over there, through about ten other kids.  Conklin holds his glove up to the slot and there’s a puck in it. Hands fly from everywhere trying to grab it but he pulls it away and points the blade of his stick at my daughter and says, “Her’s.”  The kids back off and a little seven year old hand reaches into the glove and grabs the puck.


I’ve got plenty of other stories about that trip and I’ll sprinkle them in as we go further along toward 12.

Tonite is huge. Huge.  A Wings win and we’re looking at a sweep and plenty of rest before Gary’s bitch of a Baby Boy.  A loss and this thing gets real interesting, real fast.

Depth.  It’s coming down to depth tonite because like I said, I believe Dangle’s out and may be out for a while.

And I wonder if a team wins the Cup without its Hart Trophy candidate…would that make them “elite”?

6 to 12, bitches.  6 to 12.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com