Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Note To Blues Fans: Bring The Bitter. We’re Gonna Live Blog It

Starting the LB a little early.  It’s that kind of day.

And so it begins.  Another six game extravaganza of jealousy, bitterness and bile.  Like a six-game playoff series? No, no.  We’re talking about the Blues here. Playoffs aren’t allowed.  This is a season-long thing.  Nobody hates us like Blues fans hate us and holy cow there are few things in life more enjoyable than knowing the fans in St. Lose are sad.

But here’s what hurts…I tried to reach out to Blues fans a while ago. We were in a rough patch, you and I.  I made a genuine gesture of good faith when I asked the Bitter Bitches to just let me know how they’ve dealt with such horrific hockey for so long.  I wanted to let them know that our six-game losing streak made me empathize with them.  And how did they react?  Oh dear.

Fellow Red Wing fans, I give you Curt Price at LetsGoBlues.

I would like to say congrats to you.  Congrats on your ability to watch the evening news to seek out a winning hockey team and then shrewdly convince yourself to cheer for them in the stands while proudly waving your foam “Hockeytown” finger in the air and sporting a tucked in Red Wings jersey with your own name on the back.  You are the model Red Wings fan.  You are what every Wings fan aspires to be when they reach that unique level of mature Detroit douchebaggery.  This isn’t something you can teach…good Deroiters are born with it, along with the bird flu, erectile disfunction and an uncanny ability to not find a job.

Wow. Hurtful.  I’d typically ignore it, because you can find genius prose just like that at pretty much any Blues message board or blog.  I know, because my family and I sit down and read them after the puppies fall asleep.  This one had special meaning for me though, because the author took the time to send me a note, asking me to read it.  Sandwiched around a request for me to appear on a pre-recorded Podcast (live would be preferred, actually) were a few pearls. 

I decided to respond to your “request for help” blog post.

I am sure you’ll enjoy it.

Well, thank you Curt. I did enjoy it.  Immensely. I enjoy every instance of Blues fans coiling up in little feces smeared balls of hate, rocking back and forth in a puddle of cold urine moaning about Pronger’s knee and Drake’s red and white Stanley Cup and Jon Casey and Jacques Demers.  I’ve enjoyed it since 1991 (the last year St. Lose defeated Detroit in a playoff series, Curt) and I’m going to revel in it every chance we get. 

Here’s hoping for another 6 game Wings winless streak soon so you can continue to ask for help from Blues bloggers.
Later.

Yep. “Later”, Curt.  And let me know when you think that next six-game Suck is going to start. 

And, please, pass this on to your buddies before they start lifting to get ready for tonite’s game.  Pass it to your boys over at Game Time, too.

We’re arrogant.  We’re obnoxious.  We’re elitist pricks, every one of us.  We’re Wing fans, Curt. Wing. Fans. We like parades and Stanley Cups. We like Conn Smythe trophies and 7-time Norris winners.  Our front office has no churn. Our assistant GM doesn’t want to leave, Curt.  He’s an assistant GM with yearly offers from half the league. And he doesn’t…leave.  Can you imagine that?  I didn’t think so. Our coach is here for the long haul and so is our goaltender.  Our players don’t want to leave, Curt.  They sign for less and play harder than most. It’s an institution, Curt.  And it’s one all 19 of us have come to cherish.

So don’t email me, asking me to read your little whine fest, or point me to your little message boards where the rest of the bitter little kids come up with eight ways to use the term “douche”. 

It’s a Live Blog, Curt.  Stick around if you’d like. We just love your kind ‘round here.

 

 

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

 1 2 3 >  Last ›      Next »

stonehands-78's avatar

Thanks, Master Chief.

“We’re Wing fans, ... “

‘nuff said.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 11/15/11 at 07:55 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

... and an uncanny ability to not find a job.

Posted by Curt from his own ass

oH lOOK, aN iNSULT aBOUT dETROIT nOBODY hAS eVER uSED bEFORE1111

Twunt.

Posted by RedMenace from The Lightly Soiled South on 11/15/11 at 08:10 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

We may have to add an extra B to the acronym for Blues fans so we can include “butthurt”

Or would that be redolent?

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/15/11 at 08:15 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Yep, jealousy is soooooooo attractive.

Good post, Chief.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from the State where Tigers roam in the Spring on 11/15/11 at 08:36 PM ET

Avatar

I love how these cunts forget about Detroit putting America on wheels, or as the city was revered as the “Arsonal of Democracy” During WW2.

BBB fans can keep that stupid arch and their shitty hockey team.

Posted by LaserRedGT from Troy on 11/15/11 at 08:40 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Anybody else remember this as fondly as I do?  If it were any other guy except Claude Lemiuex I’d feel bad for saying that.  I remember clapping.  I was 14 and I hated the Blues that much.

Lets hope the Wings show the BBBs how we do it in Hockeytown!

LGRW

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 11/15/11 at 08:55 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

They have Darren Pang, we have Mickey Redmond.

Holy shit, we even kick their asses in the broadcast booth.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie, MI on 11/15/11 at 09:06 PM ET

yzer19man's avatar

Posted by bezukov from the search for the Wings’ lost sense of pride on 11/15/11 at 05:55 PM ET

This is even better

Posted by yzer19man from Chicago, IL on 11/15/11 at 09:06 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

And, then, well…there’s THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAOYjVxP2wc

If you watch that and don’t get chills, call your family doctor right away.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie, MI on 11/15/11 at 09:09 PM ET

The Hurricane's avatar

I enjoy every instance of Blues fans coiling up in little feces smeared balls of hate, rocking back and forth in a puddle of cold urine moaning about…

I see the OCCUPY movement and the BBB’s have much in common. I’m surprised Curt didn’t utilize more exclamation points….seems about his speed.
Redolent.

Posted by The Hurricane on 11/15/11 at 09:17 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Posted by yzer19man from Chicago, IL on 11/15/11 at 06:06 PM ET

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 11/15/11 at 06:09 PM ET

YES.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 11/15/11 at 10:04 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

...said it on previous blog…

Lets keep the Train going…..we’ll kick those off that don’t want to continue and we will hook anyone that wants to join the 19+  in our Red Wing club car!  Go WINGS!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 11/15/11 at 10:18 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

We’re Wing fans,

Evenin’ bitches.

Nice write up, Master Chief. I am proud to be able to say, that I have been a Wing’s fan, longer that St.Louis has been in the league.

Let’s Roll.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/15/11 at 10:24 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Here.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/15/11 at 10:37 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

that=than. Oh what the fuch.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/15/11 at 10:39 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Present.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, fanning the flames, with rum..... on 11/15/11 at 10:48 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Mickey Redmond enters Hall of Fame~Congratulations!

Awesome!

lets Go Red WINGS!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 11/15/11 at 10:50 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

The “We’re arrogant” paragraph.

Pure fuching prose.

Viagra has nothing on those words.  I may have to call my doctor in four hours.

Genius, Master Chief.  Simply genius.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 11/15/11 at 10:51 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Present.

Bueller? Bueller?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/15/11 at 10:53 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Here.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil

me too.

lgrw!

ken hitchcock predicts a shut-out for the tonight game (via XM radio bbb broadcast).

he did laugh after saying it. so maybe it was all in jest

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 11/15/11 at 10:55 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Master Chief is on a roll.

Hola you arrogant bitches

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 11/15/11 at 10:55 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

That sniveling little curt—can’t even spell his own name.  At least he came within a letter of getting it right.  Oh well, that’s at least better than a lot of the drooling, mouth-breathers over at gape time.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/15/11 at 10:56 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

can’t even spell his own name

Curt? Kurt? Kirt? Kãrt? Turd?

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/15/11 at 11:00 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Alohaaaaaa bitches

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/15/11 at 11:01 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Cool, FS Detroit on the First Row site.  #1

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, fanning the flames, with rum..... on 11/15/11 at 11:01 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

FSD FEED

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 11/15/11 at 11:01 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

5 - 52. Damn.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/15/11 at 11:03 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Curt? Kurt? Kirt? Kãrt? Turd?

Can’t help you there. My N key is busted.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/15/11 at 11:05 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

5 - 52. Damn.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/15/11 at 08:03 PM ET

Let’s just say his play improves when he is paired with TPH.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/15/11 at 11:06 PM ET

The Hurricane's avatar

....anyone else bothered that they never televise the National Anthems anymore? Call me a purist, but it’s not the same without it. Anyone know why they don’t?

Posted by The Hurricane on 11/15/11 at 11:06 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

Anyone know why they don’t?

it is the all mighty dollar. ten bucks is ten bucks eh?

one or two more ad’s and there is the answer.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 11/15/11 at 11:08 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

....anyone else bothered that they never televise the National Anthems anymore? Call me a purist, but it’s not the same without it. Anyone know why they don’t?

Money.  Money for the owners and money for Gary.Ass.

Speaking of, does any pro league give the players what the NBA thugs are asking for, fifty percent of revenue?

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/15/11 at 11:09 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Let’s just say his play improves when he is paired with TPH.

So does mine.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/15/11 at 11:09 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Way to go Sparty - - great play

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 11/15/11 at 11:10 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

So does mine.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/15/11 at 08:09 PM ET

I was waiting for that.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/15/11 at 11:11 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Speaking of, does any pro league give the players what the NBA thugs are asking for, fifty percent of revenue?

I’m happy for their stupidity. And affraid of next year.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/15/11 at 11:12 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Murf…....

No sense passin him the puck.

Classic.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, fanning the flames, with rum..... on 11/15/11 at 11:12 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Can’t help you there. My N key is busted.

I’m ashamed for missing this one.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/15/11 at 11:13 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Did Happy forget to sharpen his skates?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 11/15/11 at 11:14 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

hehehe

seperated at birth ...

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 11/15/11 at 11:14 PM ET

 1 2 3 >  Last ›      Next »

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Smileys

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Feed

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com