Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 11/15/11 at 07:50 PM ET
Starting the LB a little early. It’s that kind of day.
And so it begins. Another six game extravaganza of jealousy, bitterness and bile. Like a six-game playoff series? No, no. We’re talking about the Blues here. Playoffs aren’t allowed. This is a season-long thing. Nobody hates us like Blues fans hate us and holy cow there are few things in life more enjoyable than knowing the fans in St. Lose are sad.
But here’s what hurts…I tried to reach out to Blues fans a while ago. We were in a rough patch, you and I. I made a genuine gesture of good faith when I asked the Bitter Bitches to just let me know how they’ve dealt with such horrific hockey for so long. I wanted to let them know that our six-game losing streak made me empathize with them. And how did they react? Oh dear.
Fellow Red Wing fans, I give you Curt Price at LetsGoBlues.
I would like to say congrats to you. Congrats on your ability to watch the evening news to seek out a winning hockey team and then shrewdly convince yourself to cheer for them in the stands while proudly waving your foam “Hockeytown” finger in the air and sporting a tucked in Red Wings jersey with your own name on the back. You are the model Red Wings fan. You are what every Wings fan aspires to be when they reach that unique level of mature Detroit douchebaggery. This isn’t something you can teach…good Deroiters are born with it, along with the bird flu, erectile disfunction and an uncanny ability to not find a job.
Wow. Hurtful. I’d typically ignore it, because you can find genius prose just like that at pretty much any Blues message board or blog. I know, because my family and I sit down and read them after the puppies fall asleep. This one had special meaning for me though, because the author took the time to send me a note, asking me to read it. Sandwiched around a request for me to appear on a pre-recorded Podcast (live would be preferred, actually) were a few pearls.
I decided to respond to your “request for help” blog post.
I am sure you’ll enjoy it.
Well, thank you Curt. I did enjoy it. Immensely. I enjoy every instance of Blues fans coiling up in little feces smeared balls of hate, rocking back and forth in a puddle of cold urine moaning about Pronger’s knee and Drake’s red and white Stanley Cup and Jon Casey and Jacques Demers. I’ve enjoyed it since 1991 (the last year St. Lose defeated Detroit in a playoff series, Curt) and I’m going to revel in it every chance we get.
Here’s hoping for another 6 game Wings winless streak soon so you can continue to ask for help from Blues bloggers.
Yep. “Later”, Curt. And let me know when you think that next six-game Suck is going to start.
And, please, pass this on to your buddies before they start lifting to get ready for tonite’s game. Pass it to your boys over at Game Time, too.
We’re arrogant. We’re obnoxious. We’re elitist pricks, every one of us. We’re Wing fans, Curt. Wing. Fans. We like parades and Stanley Cups. We like Conn Smythe trophies and 7-time Norris winners. Our front office has no churn. Our assistant GM doesn’t want to leave, Curt. He’s an assistant GM with yearly offers from half the league. And he doesn’t…leave. Can you imagine that? I didn’t think so. Our coach is here for the long haul and so is our goaltender. Our players don’t want to leave, Curt. They sign for less and play harder than most. It’s an institution, Curt. And it’s one all 19 of us have come to cherish.
So don’t email me, asking me to read your little whine fest, or point me to your little message boards where the rest of the bitter little kids come up with eight ways to use the term “douche”.
It’s a Live Blog, Curt. Stick around if you’d like. We just love your kind ‘round here.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: email@example.com