Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

No. Chance. In. Hell.

Google news alerts tell me that Chris Osgood has a groin thing and won’t play tonite, leaving us with a sophomorically slumping Jimmah Howard who hasn’t given up less than 3 goals since RWBill made that grace his bitch on Thanksgiving.  Brad Stuart is out 6 to 8 after a hit from a walking urinal cake, a hit that will most likely go unnoticed by Gary Bettman’s pathetic sewer of a front office..and yeah that includes you Brendan Shanahan, you hypocrite.

The best forward in hockey is still out, along with the soul of Hockeytown…Charlie Buckets.  Wally’s probably down again tonite and my magic eight ball keeps coming up with this, “your favorite team is going to be violated repeatedly”. 

There is no chance in hell the Wings win this game tonite.  Vancouver’s too hot. The Wings are too hurt.  Our goalie is too erratic, our forwards are ravaged, our blue line is gaping like a back-alley Dive fan on a warm Denver Tuesday night.  There are just too many obstacles to overcome. Too much adversity.  The puppies won’t come out and somebody pissed in the fire truck’s gas tanks.  The hookers, god bless ‘em, are all “studying for their mid-terms” and Jobu’s at it again. 

No. Chance. In. Hell.

Just the way my Uncle Mike likes it.  Statement game in hostile territory against the hottest team in hockey with injuries like nothing any team has seen since this team saw them exactly one year ago?  Screw it.  Wings win because, by god, it’s what they do in situations just like this.

Just when you think Gary’s league and Jobu’s curses and the big, bad Western Canadian(en) tough guys are going to have their way with our Wings in the most grotesque manner possible?  That’s when the best coach in hockey earns his free pizzas.

You want sympathy? From who?  Gary, Chicago, Vancouver?  Hell no.  They can all suck it.  And yeah, you too, Shanny.  How you allow your name to be associated with this joke of a three-ring circle jerk is a mystery to the rest of us.

Live Blog this one, bitches…because, guess what?  All of Canada will be watching and hoping and wishing for a Wing loss.

Perfect.

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Comments

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Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Ahoy Sailor.

No Chance in Hell - - well Seattle just beat the defending champs?

But I damn sure ain’t holding my breath.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/08/11 at 10:02 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Ahoy, Sailor.  Hope your cruise is sailing along smoothly.  Thanks.

Here’s hoping Mr. Murphy puts a world of bloody hurt on Jobu and our boys come out with two points.  At this point, I’m not going to be properly specific about how they will win; just win, baby.  Just win.

Whipping out a fresh new bottle of Jamesons…

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 01/08/11 at 10:06 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

And what in the fuch is taking Campbell so long in handing down his fine on Kostopolous?  It isn’t like he is actually going to suspend the guy, how hard is it?

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/08/11 at 10:07 PM ET

Peter10's avatar

Jeez, no GDT yet? smile

Posted by Peter10 from Germany on 01/08/11 at 10:13 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

Shanny.  How you allow your name to be associated with this joke of a three-ring circle jerk is a mystery to the rest of us.

Instead of HBO doing an all crosby /ovechkin 24/7 program, I am proposing a
IwoCPO/little gary 24/7.

It would consist of Cheif just following little gary all day and cracking wise on the midget.

Posted by Down River Dan on 01/08/11 at 10:14 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

“Perfect”

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/08/11 at 10:17 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Evening YA ALL and Chief,

Sad the best team in the league has so many injuries…again this season! 
What do we have to do, go light candles, pray, get them their own set of body guards…. cause the WINGS certainly aren’t going to lay back and let the other team players, the refs with their unbelieveably bad calls, or Gary (Jerk) walk over them, heck NO!  WINGS ROCK, and no matter what…

We are HERE for them!!! We Love the Awesome WINGS!!! Lets Go Red WINGS!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 01/08/11 at 10:26 PM ET

sjketcheson's avatar

Hey, not ALL of Canada!

Posted by sjketcheson from the floor of the Hasek on 01/08/11 at 10:31 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Fuch.


That is all.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 01/08/11 at 10:31 PM ET

voline's avatar

I search the glossary in vain for this “Jobu” of whom you write.

Posted by voline on 01/08/11 at 10:39 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

This is Jubu.  He doesn’t have a glossary entry.  He can also go fuch himself.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 01/08/11 at 10:55 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Milbury defending the hit on Stuart on HNIC right now. Super Dumbass douchenozzle. Ahoy, hoy Chief. Bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/08/11 at 10:55 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Said it was within the rules. Jagoff.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/08/11 at 10:57 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

Ron Mclean or Lebraun should have taken off milbury’s shoe and whacked him over the head with it. what a d-bag that guy is

Posted by Down River Dan on 01/08/11 at 11:00 PM ET

Osrt's avatar

Glad to hear from you Chief and to know that Google is still cockteasing you with ellipses.

Milbury hit a new low tonight. And that’s a hard thing to do. CBC has really devolved into shouting matches.

Posted by Osrt on 01/08/11 at 11:02 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Mike Milbury should tell that to Brad Stuart’s face.  Blindest shrew of them all.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 01/08/11 at 11:03 PM ET

Alzy's avatar

Mike Milbury is a fuchin douche ass. Why does he still get employed? He was a failure as a GM so he has no valuable knowledge in that respect, and for his other “opinions” all he does is set the progression of the league back every time he opens his idiotic, uneducated mouth, because somehow there’s still people out there that buy into his bullshit. Maclean said the truth, the NHL and NFL have a serious issue with concussions, and it needs to be fixed before another player has not only their career ended, but their life unecessarily damaged.

Just win tonight.

LET’S GO RED WINGS (exclamation point)

Posted by Alzy from Cambridge, Ontario, Canada on 01/08/11 at 11:06 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

it is what it is.

Yes, it is a blind side dirty bitch hit. Your welcome.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/08/11 at 11:10 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Yzermans finally take the lead on the Sens, 2-1, with just over 14:00 left to play in the game.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 01/08/11 at 11:13 PM ET

Osrt's avatar

Posted by PuckHound61

Ok. Let’s concede that Stuart was “playing” the puck and even facing the hitter. How exactly does that excuse or nullify the blatant elbow to the head or charging straight in without caring about the puck? What about a elbow to the head is “hockey”?

Posted by Osrt on 01/08/11 at 11:20 PM ET

koalacaust's avatar

how the fuch can someone justify a hit that broke a jaw, are you gonna tell me it wasnt a headshot?

Posted by koalacaust on 01/08/11 at 11:22 PM ET

Wingfan191's avatar

“Pronger physics”

Posted by Wingfan191 from Bothell, WA (originally from Troy, MI) on 01/08/11 at 11:32 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

That HIT on Stuart was Vicious and SO Unnecessary…punishment should follow, especially since this wasn’t Calgary’s K’s first offense….

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 01/08/11 at 11:34 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Milbury is right, todays NHL has too many pansies and they would have never survived in the old NHL.
Posted by PuckHound61 from Speckville USA on 01/08/11 at 09:05 PM ET

That’s right.  Why should we give a fuch about any player getting injured in a sport for our amusement?  Why should we care that these men have families and loved ones who care about them?  We pay our 30 pieces of silver, we demand bloodshed!  Douchebag.

Posted by calquake on 01/08/11 at 11:36 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Islanders=Milbury’s legacy.

Many young players and prospects that Milbury traded away went on to have distinguished careers, often eclipsing those of the players he received in return. He has traded away defensemen Zdeno Chara, Wade Redden, Bryan Berard, Eric Brewer, Darius Kasparaitis, and Bryan McCabe; goalies Roberto Luongo and Tommy Salo, as well as forwards Olli Jokinen, Todd Bertuzzi, Tim Connolly, and Raffi Torres. Milbury has also come under fire for his draft day decisions such as choosing Rick DiPietro first overall in 2000 over Dany Heatley and Marian Gaborik; as well as his decision to include the 2001 second overall draft pick (Jason Spezza) as part of the Alexei Yashin trade.


Yea, a right smarrrt hockey guy.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/08/11 at 11:46 PM ET

SYF's avatar

In February of 2000, during a game with the Boston Bruins and the Vancouver Canucks, Donald Brashear was slashed viciously on the side of his head by Marty McSorley. Once the stick slashed him, Brashear fell down and slammed his head against the ice on the rink. The result was a severe concussion for Brashear, a criminal trial for McSorley on the charge of assault with a weapon, and a stipulation that McSorley could never play against Brashear again. The stipulation was not necessary, because Brashear never played hockey again. He had no recall of the assault or falling, but his coordination never recovered enough from the injuries to allow him to play professionally again.

It is what it is.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 01/08/11 at 11:48 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

O.K. enough of Milbury.

It’s all aboot the W. Bitches.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/08/11 at 11:48 PM ET

doozy104's avatar

At the game.  Go. Wings

Posted by doozy104 from Vancouver on 01/08/11 at 11:54 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

lost myself in the news of the day, figuring what with stuie out with a broken jaw from last night, things can not possibly get any worse.

then an hour afor the game, i start filling myself in on wings news.  and read ozzie is out, with possible surgery? 

but the game hasn’t even started yet.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/08/11 at 11:55 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Jimmah, you had better be good enough, tonite.

We have the tools. We have the talent. I am hoping for many, many Red Wing foals.

Let’s Roll. Bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/08/11 at 11:58 PM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Am I a bad Michigan native for wanting the Pistons to lose so I can watch FSD instead of Milbury?

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 12:00 AM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

Minnesota just shut out Pittsburgh, 4-0 in Pittsburgh (1st time in new arena)...
So I guess it is anything can happen Saturday.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 01/09/11 at 12:00 AM ET

SYF's avatar

I’d say you’re a proper Michigan native, Chris.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 01/09/11 at 12:01 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

It is 9:02 CT, and the HD channel for the game is not broadcasting, W.T.F?

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/09/11 at 12:03 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Overtime. It’s a fuching miracle.

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 12:03 AM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

Howie busting a move in the hallway, dancing to the songs nobody else can hear.  ahhhh, goalies…

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/09/11 at 12:05 AM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

in honor of tonight’s hnic.  tonight drink of choice is crown royal.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/09/11 at 12:06 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

Oh oh, I love this anthem singer.

He looks like Luongo’s future.

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 12:07 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Okay, this is absurd, neither DET feed is up on the damn TV.  What the hell.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/09/11 at 12:07 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Nice lead in Chief.  Exactly. No chance in hell.

Good thing I don’t ever take anything that comes out of Mike Dingleberry’s mouth too seriously.  His momma must heave fed him a steady diet of shit because he’s been belching out crap for years.

Let’s do this!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/09/11 at 12:08 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com