Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 04/18/11 at 12:37 AM ET
Ken Daniels is calling the Vancouver/Chicago game and just confirmed to a live OLN audience that Larry Murphy is typically too drunk to stand up by the third period of a Detroit home game.
Nevermind. He didn’t say that. Put your lawyer phones down.
There’s really no easy segue from libel (or is it slander? I get confused) so we’ll just move on awkwardly.
Just about 24 hours until they drop the puck at The Reach Around (JOBing.com.mil.org.net arena) and Dan Bickley would like to get the word to all you transplants out there that if you plan to attend Game 3, please don’t do it in a way that would remind two (or 3, sorry Herm) countries that hockey and Phoenix are as compatible as Bettman and competence.
So, a plea to all Red Wings fans living in the Valley:
If you must go to the games in Arizona, please wear white. We don’t want outsiders thinking we can’t sell out playoff games. After all we’ve been through - from bankruptcy hearings to relocation threats - the last thing we need is more national embarrassment.
I know you’ve already seen this. It’s three days old or something. But I’ve held on to it as long as possible. Jeeeeesus. What is it about the Daters and the Bradys and now the Bickleys? Why is it that a matchup with Detroit turns them all into such sniveling little bitches?
Here’s my counterpoint to Danny’s tearful plea: If you’re a Wing fan in Phoenix and you’re going to the game, wear your red, chant your Tuzzi, give every one of them that cocky-ass grin that comes with 11 Cups and remind them that Swagger is earned.
And as for this?
If you’re a Detroit fan who otherwise cheers for the Coyotes…
...then you’re not a Detroit fan. Simple as that. Wear your white and make it official. Harsh? Too. Frigging. Bad. You don’t lose your loyalty because you’ve moved to warmer climes. You just don’t. You stand your ground and wear your Winged wheel. There’s no middle ground and it’s not 1 and 1a. It’s the Wings and no one else. I swear to god. It makes me snarl to even consider being a fan of any other team. I can’t imagine how it would happen. I have the Wings and 29 teams I despise. I’m a Wing fan, bitch. That’s it and that is motherfuching all.
Estimates I’ve read approach the 30 percent number. As in 30 percent of the crowd in The Reach Around will be Wing fans. Hell. Yes.
John Niyo’s a super important all-sport columnist now and reminds us of something scary.
And the Wings would do well to remind themselves what happened back in 2007, when Datsyuk & Co. had the Calgary Flames—a team that’s not unlike this Phoenix bunch—thoroughly disgusted after a couple of lopsided wins in Detroit. The Flames then went home and regrouped and won a pair, forcing the Wings to make two round trips out West before settling it in six games.
Actually, the Wings should have plenty of reminders tucked away in those wise-old heads of theirs.
Eight of the last 11 times the Wings have jumped out to a 2-0 series lead in the last decade, they’ve proceeded to lose Game 3 on the road.
Icky. Nice to read Niyo again, though. We’re proud of you, young man. But if you start ignoring the Wings like your peers have for years now, we’ll turn on your ass too. Just FYI.
Yeah. It’s been in the back of our minds, this 2-0 lead and how important it is for us, emotionally, that the Wings don’t let it slip away. And we all know what has to happen tonite, weather the whole “first ten minutes of fury” thing. Got it. So Doan’s gonna come out all crazy like Gary just took the ball out of his mouth (haaaaaaaa….William Tell just put Vancouver up in the third. Wonder if Chicago fans remember another huge goal he scored against baby brother? Like the OT winner in the ‘08 WCF? I do. I was there and it was glorious). Good. Let him. He’s so stupid that he thinks he actually intimidates the Wings. And he’s convinced his teammates and even his coach of the same thing. Doan bag. Run around all you want, idiot. Last time it led to four goals. Care to try again?
Oh, and if you’re counting, the “best player in the series” has let up 14 goals over his last three playoff starts against the Wings.
Khan(!) has injury news that I’m pretty sure Malik the showoff has already brought you. But I have views.
Asked if there were any lineup changes, coach Mike Babcock said, “Not at this time.’‘
That’s in response to Franzen sitting out yesterday’s practice and Hank skating. Anybody know how long it takes concussion symptoms to appear if they don’t show up right away? I’m no pharmacist, just wondering. I just checked my yearbook and saw Franzen listed as “most likely to be a late scratch in Game 3”.
Okey dokie then. Wrapping this up before my Gore goes away. Enjoy your game day bitches. You’re staying up late, don’t forget. Plan accordingly.
****Note. Chicago just lost. Tee ‘em up, Hawk fans. As we said, nice season. Last one, that is.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: email@example.com