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Abel to Yzerman

Let Your Swagger Shock The Innocent, And Live Blog It

Whatever happened to the Battle of California we used to know? I guess it’s only the Duck element that had any sack.  Earl Sleek would drop over when he saw fit, exchange a few barbs and stick around for a pop or two.  Now? On the Shark side of the ledger? Boy.  The sensitive have taken over.

Gee, the lack of humility that’s being displayed by Red Wings fans here,um…staggers…

That little sob belongs to a fella named Megalodon, he’s the resident Shark boobie at BoC. 

Staggers the what?  Men don’t use elipses.  We just don’t.  Finish your sentence like the gender is supposed to.  And even more importantly, why is anyone surprised at the way we conduct ourselves here?

Do you people, and by “you people” I mean the offended masses, think that because we’re not pleased with how our team is playing we’re any less arrogant? What, did you think a 9-6-1 start is going to blank our memories of what reality is, that the Detroit Red Wings are the most dominant professional sports franchise of the last twenty years? 

“Lack of humility?” For what?  At what point in time are we supposed to bow down to a fan base or blogger whose team has never won a single series of consequence? No conference titles. And, by god, no Cups. 

Does that “stagger” you?  Check with Sleek. He’ll tell you what we stand for here. 

Win something and then come back to us and demand that we walk two steps behind the color teal because we’ve lost two playoff series.  I’m not denying the Sharks are the better team, as dictated by the facts of the last 30 months.  What I’m saying is that we, Wing fans, answer to no one but ourselves.

We’re going to live blog this bitch.  And we’re going to do that with Swagger because it’s who we are, as Wing fans.  And, by the grace of that adorable, swaddling bundle of purity and joy sitting on that bar over there, baby Jesus himself, if we should win tonite?  You’d better watch out Medalodonkeydouche because that Swagger may just be too much for you and the sensitive to handle.  That’s just fair warning.

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Comments

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Down River Dan's avatar

Finish your sentence like the gender is supposed to.

awesome.


P.S. Uncle Mike , please consider putting Helm with Hank and Pav.

Posted by Down River Dan on 11/18/11 at 12:14 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

What I’m saying is that we, Wing fans, answer to no one but ourselves.

And, we have earned that write/wright/right. Bitches.

Let’s Roll.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/18/11 at 12:21 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

12:30PM, and the game doesnt start for another hour. But I just got TP60, so yeah, maybe.

P.S. Uncle Mike , please consider putting Helm with Hank and Pav.

Speaking of which:

Franzén-Datsyuk-Abdelkader
Filppula-Zetterberg-Cleary
Hudler-Helm-Brunnstrom
Miller-Emmerton-Holmstrom

Lidstrom-Ericsson
Kronwall-Smith
Kindl-Stuart

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/18/11 at 12:21 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

“Lack of humility?” For what?  At what point in time are we supposed to bow down to a fan base or blogger whose team has never won a single series of consequence? No conference titles. And, by god, no Cups. 

Im gonna go with John Tortorella (for the first and probably last time) here:

“It surprised me, and I’ve never heard a player say that,” Tortorella told reporters after Tuesday’s practice, according to the New York Daily News. “Joe’s a heck of a player, but here’s a player popping off about our team, and Joe hasn’t won a god d—- thing in this league. He could go down as a player, being one of the better players in our league never to win anything. So what he should do is just shut up. It was uncalled for, it was classless, and I’ve never had it happen like that before.”

Nuff said about Thornton and the other floaters that call the Piss Tank home.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 11/18/11 at 12:22 AM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

I think John Tortorella is a JA, but damn his press conferences can be funny as hell sometimes.

Posted by Down River Dan on 11/18/11 at 12:27 AM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Lets Go Red Wings!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 11/18/11 at 12:33 AM ET

Earl Sleek's avatar

Earl Sleek would drop over when he saw fit, exchange a few barbs and stick around for a pop or two.

Suck it, uh, Blue Jackets!

(Man, Ducks are awful lately.)  smile

Posted by Earl Sleek from Anaheim, CA on 11/18/11 at 12:33 AM ET

dougie's avatar

Inspirational, Chief.

Nice posts today.

Posted by dougie on 11/18/11 at 12:36 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Did it seem like Uncle Mike got progressively more pissed off as that interview went on to you guys?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 11/18/11 at 01:03 AM ET

RorSchach's avatar

Go WINGS!

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 11/18/11 at 01:16 AM ET

RorSchach's avatar

http://freeredwings.tv/ Wings feed for any interested.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 11/18/11 at 01:18 AM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

good day bitches.

damn another west coast swing. 10:30 start. i really dislike this start time.

‘course it could be worse. i could live some place where the start time is 12:30am tomorrow.

spent the day vaccinating chickens. joy… trying to keep them from getting sick this winter. the good thing is there was only 76 birds to do. high temp today was 22F with a light breeze. want to know something? latex gloves do nothing to keep ones hands warm.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 11/18/11 at 01:18 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Joe hasn’t won a god d—- thing in this league. He could go down as a player, being one of the better players in our league never to win anything. So what he should do is just shut up. It was uncalled for, it was classless, and I’ve never had it happen like that before.

Being called out for being a classless bitch by John Tortarella—that’s priceless.  Kinda like being called a worthless c*cksucker by the filthy two-dollar whore down the street.

My previous bounty still stands.  If any Red Wing player viciously and with great malice knocks that shit-sucking grin off that stupid looking empty-headed puss I will lead the charge to raise money to cover said player’s financial losses resulting from any suspension.

Let’s Go Wings!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/18/11 at 01:21 AM ET

Crow's avatar

Looks like I’m going to be tired at work tomorrow…LETS GO RED WINGS!

Posted by Crow on 11/18/11 at 01:22 AM ET

Nate A's avatar

I’m in, I’m tired and I’m cranky. A win and a Joe Thornton with a messed up face would cheer me up.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 11/18/11 at 01:22 AM ET

RedMenace's avatar

I, uh… I use ellipses quite frequently…

*prepares to hand in Man Card*

Posted by RedMenace from The Lightly Soiled South on 11/18/11 at 01:23 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Stupid late games.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 11/18/11 at 01:24 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

I’m in, I’m tired and I’m cranky. A win and a Joe Thornton with a messed up face would cheer me up.

I knew I could count you in Nate!  Cheers!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/18/11 at 01:25 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Anyone still have the Franzen/Thornton lightsaber picture?

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 11/18/11 at 01:27 AM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Dougie, you have a PM…

Posted by RedMenace from The Lightly Soiled South on 11/18/11 at 01:28 AM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Anyone still have the Franzen/Thornton lightsaber picture?

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 11/17/11 at 10:27 PM ET

Posted by RedMenace from The Lightly Soiled South on 11/18/11 at 01:29 AM ET

SnLO's avatar

Evening Bitches!

Isn’t it just like a fish to get all confused over the words; it’s not stagger, it’s swagger.

Posted by SnLO from the Northern Guard on 11/18/11 at 01:30 AM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Aloha bitches.  Don’t worry Mannschaft. Your avitar absolves you from any questions raised by elipses.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/18/11 at 01:30 AM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Aloha bitches.  Don’t worry Mannschaft. Your avitar absolves you from any questions raised by elipses.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/17/11 at 10:30 PM ET

Dope.  I knew that thing might come in handy when I was putting it together.

*raises PBR and farts loudly*

Posted by RedMenace from The Lightly Soiled South on 11/18/11 at 01:31 AM ET

Nate A's avatar

I have nachos. I’m slightly less cranky now.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 11/18/11 at 01:31 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Posted by Mannschaft from the darkest recesses on 11/17/11 at 10:29 PM ET

Perfect.  Best gif ever.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 11/18/11 at 01:32 AM ET

redxblack's avatar

That lightsaber pic is brilliant. Murph looks murphed already. I’m drinking doubles and hoping for hat tricks.

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 11/18/11 at 01:32 AM ET

Forlorn in VA's avatar

Evenin’, Bitches.

I’m watching, but stupid GSL is delayed so long that I can’t watch and live blog.

LGRW!

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 11/18/11 at 01:32 AM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Fvcking amsum—the audio and video are out of sync on GameCenter Live.

I want my money back.

Posted by RedMenace from The Lightly Soiled South on 11/18/11 at 01:33 AM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

What the fuch?  Was I wrong about Bowman’s theories and shit?  I thought it was the rankings he counted, not the percentages?

Whatever. The PBR flows like the purest of mountain streams.  Speaking of…Murph is LOADED.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/18/11 at 01:33 AM ET

Nate A's avatar

Fvcking amsum—the audio and video are out of sync on GameCenter Live.

No, that’s just the league’s attempt to rectify the intent to blow situation.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 11/18/11 at 01:33 AM ET

redxblack's avatar

Smith and Kronner starting? The Sharts better duck and cover.

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 11/18/11 at 01:34 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

I have beer, and it’s only makin’ me crankier.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/18/11 at 01:34 AM ET

Nate A's avatar

Chief I’ve mostly heart the 10 or less version too. But I wouldn’t doubt he used both, whichever meant they had a harder practice.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 11/18/11 at 01:34 AM ET

Nate A's avatar

heart? WTF? HEARD

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 11/18/11 at 01:35 AM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

now that ken daniels and larry murphy have recited the correct version of scotty bowman’s special teams calc, maybe iwocpo can stop *#$%@& it up.

Posted by bob on 11/17/11 at 10:33 PM ET

Bob, Bob, Bob…if you parrot back every mistake I make you’re going to get crampy.  Just roll with it.  Everything’s gonna be…o…k..

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/18/11 at 01:35 AM ET

redxblack's avatar

My wife is on a girls night out. My son is hanging out at his friend’s house overnight. I’m planning on making this highball glass dizzy and watching the Red Wings totally dominate the Sharts like I’m dominating the Canadian Club tonight.

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 11/18/11 at 01:36 AM ET

Nate A's avatar

I have beer, and it’s only makin’ me crankier.

Cranky? Shouldn’t it make you wobbly and slobbery?

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 11/18/11 at 01:36 AM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Fuching Rahmani’s got a theme song now?

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/18/11 at 01:36 AM ET

RedMenace's avatar

No, that’s just the league’s attempt to rectify the intent to blow situation.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 11/17/11 at 10:33 PM ET

After switching to the Sharts’ feed, it seems to only be the FSD feed.

Not a good sign.

Posted by RedMenace from The Lightly Soiled South on 11/18/11 at 01:36 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com