Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 11/26/11 at 01:34 PM ET
Toothless, goofy and affable. Violent, sadistic and a menace to all who believe in goodness. He’s Leonard Smalls channeling Carl Panzram. Who’s Leonard Smalls, you ask?
This is Leonard Smalls and he should look real damn familiar.
And Carl Panzram? Well, he was a born killer, a true wack job. Read about him here if you want. This quote, though, says it all.
“I don’t believe in man, God nor Devil. I hate the whole damned human race, including myself… I preyed upon the weak, the harmless and the unsuspecting. This lesson I was taught by others : Might makes right.”
Might most certainly does make right. Oh yes it does. And when might carries with it soft hands and a gentle touch? Well, by god, we’ve got ourselves a situation.
Rob Discher at The Production Line brings us a ditty this morning that is just so very good.
Have you ever listened to the streets of Pamplona before they release the bulls? You can almost hear the anxiety in the red-clad lemmings, daring for one morning to test fate, to brave the streets with a ten-ton animal bent on chaos, destruction and goring.
Have you ever put your hand on the tracks minutes before a seventy car train barrels into the crossing? Have you felt the subtle tremble rise…and rise again…until it becomes an inescapable, wailing roar of steel wheels and smokestacks?
Have you ever danced with Todd Bertuzzi?
It gets better. You have to read that. Go now.
Uncle Mike said that Smalls’ last three games have been the best of his career in baby Jesus’ red and white.
“That’s stretching it a bit.”
STFU Khan(!). Like you know. If Uncle Mike says it, then that’s what it is.
“I felt like (expletive) out there for a while,” Bertuzzi said. “When you’re feeling 100 percent, you got the energy back, you got your rhythm back. It’s been a noticeable difference for me.”
Babcock threw his psycho ass out there for the opening faceoff and the boos were a crescendo. That disappointed me a bit. I always thought of Boston as a blue collar town that appreciated a touch of violence now and again. Hell, look at Lucic. But down came the boos and you could sense Bertuzzi taking a deep breath and inhaling every one of them. Let them come. Sing for me. Fuching sing, bitches.
And then Bertuzzi reminded us what he can be like when healthy and when he understands that his energy needs to be channeled.
Violently but softly. A kindly killer. A madman who stinks like a sewer but the guy you’d leave your kids with for a few hours while you and the wife go get some pasta.
Bert’s a target for us. When things go wrong we pull him out of a lineup and a scapegoat he becomes. Him and the midget pimp. The biggest and the smallest. But it’s not Bertuzzi’s fault when he doesn’t play like he did yesterday. It’s a short circuit. His meds weren’t mixed right. Environmental factors conspired to move him from a realm of workable insanity to disfunction. Finally, we have to understand that we’re not going to see a full season of brilliance. It will come in streaks and spurts (shut up). We just have to hope the bad man is good for the games that count.
And I truly believe he has an effect on his friends. We talk about how Datsyuk makes everyone around him better? I think the same can be said for the Killing Machine. When he’s on, there’s room. When he’s violent, it’s infectious. Did you see how Datsyuk handled Chara yesterday? Oh…and speaking of Chara. Anyone who ever placed a single vote for him over Lidstrom in any Norris voting needs therapy and soon. There is no comparison between the two. Even at 41, Lidstrom is far and away the better player in every facet of the game.
Back to Bert. When he’s on, so are the Wings it seems. And that line is just good. A mule, a disgusting killer and a magician. Feed one, free the other and let the last one enjoy the extra space.
Bubba comes to town tonite, big fella. Pests. Irritants. Make them go away. Make them sad, Bert.
See you all for the LB. Enjoy your Saturday and, by god, Go Blue.
Add a Comment
Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.
Most Recent Blog Posts
About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org