Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 08/03/10 at 08:33 AM ET
Herm made a funny. Go to the second page of comments in Voox’ latest manifesto and you’ll see that our South American little buddy noticed a ditty around 10pm last night and tracked it like a bird dog. Helene St. James was just too excited to do her damn job. And here’s how trouble starts when a Deep Digger is given the keys to the kingdom, blogging rights without editor or filter.
The lone headline stayed up there solo for about thirty minutes until St. James stopped hyperventilating and figured out how to work the Freep management console. And when she finally broke the big one? Standard Helene…LOLing with her new BFF at commercial breaks of Real Housewives of New Jersey and everything got crazy. Kim G was stalking Danielle and then the former #9 couldn’t contain herself any longer.
Mike Modano will join the Red Wings, the Free Press has learned. “Big announcement Thursday,” Modano sent in a text Monday.
Oh the drama.
Is it interesting? Yes. Will he improve the team in the short-term? Yes. The power play, the world’s best already, will be even better. We’ve been over this and over it. Welcome aboard Mike. Welcome to Hockeytown. But Mike?
You’re still a waffling little bitch and you’re going to have to prove me wrong on that one. You’re our new Enigma.
After a month of BS that started with this outright lie, “The sooner the better,” Modano said of his decision. “I know they would love to get an answer so they can get their cap and their roster situated. I don’t want to delay this,” Willa finally made up her mind. Mike Modano’s coming “home”, after two decades of getting his ass absolutely handed to him by hockey’s best franchise, he’s apparently decided one more run at the Cup (and look out, it might be more…I’m just sayin’) is in his best interests. Is it in the Wings’? All I know is this…Detroit proved after Baby Jesus kicked us in the sack last year with more injuries than any team in professional sports has ever suffered, ever, in history, dating back to like 1878 or something, that with all cylinders firing, no team in the league was or is as potent.
And now we’ve added a midget pimp who will pot us 30 and an aging soap opera star who’s gonna add 20 more. Stay healthy boys, because daddy’s got another present for you. Ready?
Turco arrives so excited about the chance that he phoned in from a vacation in Scotland to share his glee in a teleconference, possibly over a pint of lager.
Keep drinking Marty. ‘cause you know what’s coming bitch. As if the Hawks hadn’t lost enough already. If they hadn’t sealed their second place Central fate, or even third? They go and sign the one guy the Wings have ball-gagged consistently for a decade. Thank you baby Jesus. Thank you. You may have giggled when you boned us last year, but this is rich payback indeed.
It’s not so much that the Hawks lost Niemi. He was never that good. That team, last season’s Hawk team, was damn good. But that team, last season’s Hawk team, is done and that’s not even worthy of argument. It just is. One-tricked and out. That team, as the Trib article points out, was Bowman-built to protect a mediocre tender. They did and they won.
Now a mediocre team is going to have to protect a mediocre goalie who bathes in urine at the mere mention of Joe Louis Arena. Awesome.
Suck it Marty. You’re used to it. Oh and to make matters worse, I wonder if the Wings can get a hold of someone who may know a thing or two about Turco’s weak spots? Woops.
Interesting. Turco’s pounding pints and getting all excited in Scotland. Guess where Willa is too, according to Khan(!)?....“Modano will return home Wednesday from a golfing trip to Scotland.”
Yesterday, the 14th at St. Andrews….ready?
Turco, hanging up cell phone…“Awwwwwwwww SHIT! Guess who’s playing for the Cup champs BABY?”
Modano, laughing, picking up cell phone…“Kenny…yeah, I’m in.”
Is it June yet?
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org