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Doubting Us? Well, Stand By To STFU

So…there’s this.

San Diego Union Tribune

Just two days before the Detroit Red Wings begin their journey toward an inevitable, and remarkable, 12th Stanley Cup San Diego’s bayfront will get a large, gray, flat-topped addition starting Monday morning with the arrival of the Navy aircraft carrier Carl Vinson.

Ok. So I may have shifted a few words around.  I don’t know. 


I do know this.  It’s 0500 Pacific Time and the land of milk and honey is just off our starboard beam bitches.  San Diego awaits later this morning and just the faux in time for G1, R1 on Wednesday night.

Here are a few nuggets that have crossed my mind since learning Phoenix would be our first round huckleberry.

Like a few others have already mentioned in Voox’s eloquent Western preview, I’m not even going to attempt to spell Bryzgalov’s name right every time.  I probably got it wrong that time. And I just. Don’t. Care.  I don’t.  In fact, there are only about 30 names in hockey I know I can spell correctly and I still screw up Filppula’s every third time or so.  Cleary, Datsyuk, LiNdstrom, Rosby, Gary The Dwarf Douchebag? All easy to remember, fun to say and simple to spell.  Bryzgalov? Not so much and I’m not going with any chick-like nickname.  “Breezy”.  Jesus. 

You know who likes to slob on the nicknames?  Dive fans.  Oh yes.  There was Foppa and Footer. Now there’s “Andie” and, this is nice, “Duchy”.  Nice job grabbing that 8 seed, now STFU and get out.  You drew the grand poobah of playoff chokers and you’re still going nowhere. 

Back to Phoenix. Back to back in Phoenix, actually.  Starting a playoff series on the road for the first time in ten years.  You have to stop and think about that for a minute.  Sniff that?  Dynasty bitch.  That’s what a stat like that smells like. 

And I’m good with it.  I’m good with the whole thing.  I like the low seed and I like the attitude going in.  I like the hunger they’ve developed over the last few months and I frigging dig the fact that it’s been keyed by the best penalty kill in the league…and we’ve said it for three years, even more.  As the kill goes, so go the Wings. 

If you think Chris Osgood’s exit as the Number 1 was sealed when Jimmah took over in October, you’re wrong.  Nope.  The second Max Talbot’s game winner beat him last June, Uncle Mike started wondering what life would be like after 30.  He’s not even a backup. Babcock trusts him so little that Osgood isn’t even that.  Word is that he’s coming back next year.  Ok. If so, Howard starts 70. 

Speaking of…no way he’s getting the Calder.  His age is the reason the smart kids will tell you he won’t win.  Bottom line, though?  He’s a Red Wing and he’s not gonna get it.  Just like our Uncle Mike won’t win the Adams.  You’re telling me he doesn’t deserve it? Seriously? STFU.  No one. NOBODY deserves it more than my Uncle Mike. But he won’t win it because he’s a Wing.  And STFU about Lidstrom and Datsyuk and their Norris’ and Selkes.  They won those because no one else possibly could have.  It was clear cut.  Howard’s Calder?  Not so much and there’s a built-in excuse Gary can feed the voters. 

Whatever. Suck it.  Nobody parades the Calder over their head before they start a summer of laying pipe from stem to stern. Nobody drinks Busch out of the Calder.  Howard’s gonna be sipping from Stanley in about ten Tuesdays.  Just like Zetterberg, he can tell everyone else to stick their Calder up their Pronger because the big prize is the real shit and it’s coming home to Hockeytown after a year in a city that didn’t earn it.

Oh. And this is fun.  Remember what August was like?


The 2009-10 Wings will not make the playoffs

I tried to find the girls’ original tweet but that’s frigging impossible.  Anyway, they said it. They’ll admit it and we even bet on it but I don’t remember the wager. It is amusing, though, to point out that the Wings not only made the playoffs, but also ended up with two more points than Thid’s one-trick pony.  Enjoy that Cup boys. You’ve got about a month left with it. 

Oh, there’s plenty more.  Plenty, plenty.  And it’s coming.  But there’s business to tend to first bitches.  Pierside around 1030 PST.  All of you in the San Diego area, or as Bruce would say “down San Diego way”, we’ll be passing Loma around 0945.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com

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