Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 03/26/10 at 01:50 AM ET
From what I hear from very reliable sources, there is a tremendous party going on as we speak. In Hockeytown. It’s the culmination of more than six months of hard work. It’s the night before H2H and if I have to sit in front of this damn computer for 19 more hours waiting for it to load, then that’s what it’s going to take.
It’s been more than 60 days since I’ve posted here and equally as long since I’ve seen our Dynasty in action. As Jimmy Chitwood said in the adorable one’s third favorite movie, “I think it’s time I ripped on pathetic little Thid again.”
You’re damn right it is.
I was going to transition smoothly from a round of “thank you’s” into a subtle jab at some of our friends in Pittsburgh, Chicago and San Jose. But it’s been a while since I’ve posted and I seem to have lost my well-documented gift for tact. So, the thanks will have to wait because with the Gore at my disposal it’s time to rattle a few cages.
I didn’t see it, didn’t hear it and only read an account of it from Voox. So when I say this you’ll have to give me some latitude. You’ll have to understand for a moment that all I have to go on are the thirteen years that led up to Monday’s game against the Pens. I say thirteen years in my opinion because it’s been that long since a regular season game carried the same impact as the beatdown in Hockeytown just a few days ago. I have a pretty good feeling a few of you have already drawn this comparison but I’ll go ahead and say it…
We won the Cup Monday night. And I’m betting the Pens knew it. Against a Captain with two nuts, a healthy Datsyuk, a refreshed team with a rejuvenated PK and a chip on their shoulder…Pittsburgh saw the team that would have laid waste to them last June had it been intact instead of crippled.
And then a rookie goaltender reminded us all what a frigging bitch Thid Rosby is, just like Mac paved a path to Stanley with ten or twelve punches and a knee to the face in 1997.
I didn’t see it, so I can only imagine Gary’s Baby Boy slashing Hank…again. I can only imagine the tantrum and I can definitely imagine the smirk from Zetterberg the laughs from the bench and the frigging gut roar from the Joe. I haven’t seen the highlights but Voox described it pretty well so I have a very clear mental image of the lemming Pens circling their “captain”, and of the officials forming a protective circle jerk around 87 while he sputtered and whined.
I don’t know if Calder muscled him to the ice or if he face-washed him or both. I didn’t see it so I just don’t know. But I’m pretty damn certain Jimmah cemented his status as a frigging stud and a hometown hero. I’m pretty damn sure of that because nothing endears a Wing to Wing fans like a guy who treats a little bitch like a little bitch.
Does Chicago want a piece of the Wings now, the healthy Wings with the best PK in the league and a rookie goalie talented enough to carry them but dumb enough to be carefree about it? Does San Jose really want that one seed now? Sure, if it means the spiraling Dive fall to 8, or if Bubba slips a few to the final spot. You bet they’d take those odds. But Toddy knows better and he knows what’s brewing in Michigan right now. He’s seen the signs and he knows the smell. Stale beer, some ripeness, a little vengeance and a whole lot of confidence. It smells like frigging Stanley in Detroit right now bitches and the smart kids know it. And you and I both know Toddy’s not dumb.
I’ve been floating and steaming and doing all the Sailor stuff I’m paid to do. I’ve been blogless and hockeydumb and missed a whole lot of angst as you waited for this team to get healthy and show us what we knew they were capable of because we’re Wing fans and nobody knows how good this team is except us because we’ve watched every game, every night, every season for twenty years. You waited all year and while I haven’t been here to read it, I know the common refrain has been this: Talk all you want motherfu**ers because when April rolls around and this team is clicking there’s gonna be a whole lot of STFU to go around.
And now, on the cusp of the best time of year, that cup of STFU is about to runneth over with a big fat ladle right there to spoon feed the MSM and our little brothers in Chicago who got their asses handed to them by the BJs tonite. That cup of STFU is brewing and it’s nasty and it’s sour and sickening because in Pittsburgh they know the best team is the one that wasted them on Monday. Just like they know the team they “defeated” last June was a frigging mirage, a hallucination of the Red Wings. They saw the real thing on Monday and don’t think for a second they don’t realize a repeat is just a wet dream.
I haven’t seen it, but I know the signs and I’ve read the recaps. We’ve got 11 Tuesdays to go until 12 is ours.
I can’t guarantee I’ll be writing or posting too much until just before G1, R1. But I’ll be back just in time and that’s for sure.
As for tonite and tomorrow? Hope you’re enjoying yourself Herm. Wish I could be there. And to the 19 playing host? Raise ‘em up bitches. But don’t strain yourselves because there’s plenty of lifting to come before a million of you MF’ers converge on Woodward in June. Again.
On to the thanks. Voox, you are the man. I’m serious when I say I haven’t been able to read a frigging thing since I left so I’ve missed out on your prose. But, like the original Charlie Buckets, you were selected for a reason and I know you didn’t disappoint. I need you to hang on for a few more weeks, and then of course you have access to post whenever you want. To all the organizers of H2H…you guys are awesome, as you know. I can’t even guess how many bitches are in Detroit tonite or what condition you’re in to read this. But I know it’s a blast and it’s for a great, great cause.
Have fun tonite and enjoy the incredible time that tomorrow will bring at the Joe. Herm…have fun. What an experience you’ll have.
Oh, and for those of the 19 in San Diego? I’ll see you bitches in about three weeks.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org