Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

50? No Worries.  Pronger?  Punk Ass.  Taking Live Blogs To A Whole New Level…Starting Tonite.

Heard this before?  I think you have.

Detroit has not suffered the fabled Stanley Cup Finals hangover that struck the Ducks last year and apparently is hampering the Penguins this year. One reason is that their best player didn’t spend half the season wondering if he still wanted to play.

Nice. And unique considering it came from an OC Register writer.


We’ve always been of the mild opinion here that Scotty Niedermayer, a “captain”, royally screwed his teammates by waffling for several months last year and essentially holding “his” team hostage while he sat out the boring months waiting for the fun to start.

We’ve also held a somewhat shared belief that Chris Pronger is a sack of sh** goon who’s been overrated for years and resorts to scumbag thuggery and flying elbows aimed at the heads of players half his size. 

Mark Whicker, who wrote the ditty above, doesn’t come right out and agree with that sentiment, but he does throw a nifty little jab at Sasquatch in another paragraph.  Wanna read it?  Awesome.

When two hockey teams believe in puck possession and meet each other, the laws of physics (as Chris Pronger would say) dictate that only one can have it. That’s why it’s so compelling when the Red Wings play the Ducks.

Oh, and before we go any further…an explanation.  My 6-year-old has recently become attached to the term “awesome.”  She’s got different inflections, usages, tones.  All that stuff.  So, because I’m also a child, I’ve taken to using it a bit much.  I’ll get over it. Bear with me.

50 shots?  49, whatever.  Close enough to fifty to be fifty.  40-16 after the first period.  Now that is frigging staggering.  Disgusting, really.  But so bad that it’s almost laughable, considering how well the Wings had been playing literally right up to those final two periods.  If any game can be forgotten this year, that might be it.  Did it hurt my soul to sit there and watch the Wings get treated like Darren Garcia in a Denver alley?  Yes. It did.  But, that was the exception and I’m glad to see the overreaction to it hasn’t been too severe.

And speaking of idiots who find gutter humor and constant “V” references hilarious? Well, it’s time to ramp up the juveniliciousness (better than any word you’ve ever made up Razor) even further. I’d like to run something by you.  Starting today and perhaps ending tomorrow, we’re going to have a Live Blog highlight of the day following every game.  The comments on the live blogs of late have produced such classic lines, immature even by our standards, that I feel an obligation to give the best of them a little staying power.  Like what Chief, you asked?  Which ones stand out?  Well?

Yes. Well.  This:

Marty seems to have forgotten his safe word.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/12/09 at 08:30 PM ET

So simple, yet…just so perfect.  I thought it then and I’m thinking it now. I wish the line was mine.  I do.  In fact, sooner or later, you’re all going to forget who said it and I’m going to take credit for it.  Oh yes I am. 

So we’re going to pick the best of the best.  Every frigging day, culled from the brilliance of the Live Blogs.  And that’s how we’ll compile our end of year greatest hits post.  Awesome.

And the 19 member who wins the most? Well, you’ll get something special. So special.

Oh, the competition will be so intense. 

Would you like to judge?  Would you like to participate in deciding which one-liner is deemed the best?

Too bad.  I’ll be making that call.  Too much work to gather several and ask you geniuses to vote on it. 

Well, on second thought.  I kinda dig that.  Until the playoffs when the comments reach the thousands.  Alright.  We’re gonna try this.  Starting tonite.

Maybe that will be enough to keep me awake.  Christ. I slept through the entire second period of the Columbus game the other night and that started at 1930. 

Live Blog, obviously, tonite.  Seger’s on tap.  Only one choice.  Hollywood Nights.  The only song for midwestern boys on their own. 

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com