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Abel to Yzerman

Yes Gary…I’m Still Awake

You know, it takes a certain brand of ignorance to blame Gary Lenore Bettman every time I have to stay up late.  If we were in the Eastern Conference, as baby Jesus intended, there would still be at least one trip to the Provinces each year.  But this one’s easy.  Twice in a span of three weeks?  Yeah, I’m awake.  But I’m pissed about it.  Your Far West live blog starts now.

Actual news…Nik Kronwall’s injured…again.  It’s a groin thing.  Derek Meech makes his season debut tonite.

*****Stand By*****Stand By*****

2241: Just received word from AlanaH that she’s accepted my invite to co-live blog this shindig.  Her comments will appear in the

ongoing post

comment section.  She’s probably wasted beyond belief so don’t expect too much.

2244: Interesting.  Zetterberg is second only to Shanny in shots (58 to 57). Yes Shanahan has exactly one goal. 

2252:  Speaking of Shanahan, should be an interesting reaction to doze off, then snap awake to the sight of #14 back on the ice.  Meech, you’re aware, is wearing it.

2255
: Homer’s goal was a replica of the one now credited to Zetterberg from Friday. Vancouver’s goal was a replica of the last fifty goals scored with Lilja on the ice.

2258: SRT with the first brilliant idea of the evening.  I’ll be imbibing with every mention of Chelios’ age.

2300: Murphy just mentioned that Zetterberg won’t get any Selke consideration because his offensive numbers will be too big.  Two seconds later he said it sure would be something if he won both the Hart and the Selke.  I’ll always like Murph because he had no problem pounding a few during the postgame SCF press conferences in ‘97, but his broadcasting abilities often sadden me.

2305 (Alanah)   I’m betting Bill falls asleep like a 2-year old before the end of the second period.  I’m taking bets… anybody, anybody at all, really want to bet against this?? (P.S. Zetterberg’s streak is getting boring - and unpleasant)

2306:  Oh…neat. There’s AlanaH. I just emailed a question to Ken and Murph.  You guys will know it if you see it.
0012
2311: Watch out AlanaH.  Zetterberg looks even more energized than usual tonite.  Trouble on the horizon.  You should probably just go to bed.

2315:  Clark, you sneaky bastard. Are you really Colleen from Woodhaven?

2320 (Alanah): Zetterberg is indeed energized… must be all that daytime cold medication he’s freebasing.  And then there’s Holstrom. I only regret I didn’t catch him on video this morning…

2320
:  Daniels just mentioned the 8pm EST start time in Calgary on Thursday.  Read a forum post from Flame fans today whining about that, about the “Detroit conspiracy.” 

2322: I fell asleep AlanaH. What just happened?

2326: Funny. I was gonna mention that little masterpiece earlier today, but I found it to be juvenile.  We don’t do juvenile here. 

2331: AlanaH’s too wasted on wine coolers to figure out how to post in the body of the post, so she’s shifted to the comments…where she’s claiming I’m editing her childish scrawl. That’s just frigging sad.  I never edit anyone’s input.  Unless your name’s Thhhhomas. 

2338 (Alanah): (Oh, shut up, Sailor Boy…)

How to Spot a Wings Fan
  • They’re the only ones in the league that call themselves “Hockeytown” with a straight face.

  • They’re singularly convinced that Hasek and his groin can bring them another Cup.

  • Tell them you’re a Canucks fan and they’ll immediately mention Lidstrom’s goal from center ice in the 2002 playoffs. (Ugh)

  • They’re known to say insane things about the city of Detroit, like “You should visit. It’s lovely here in the summer.”

  • They smell like eight-legged, dead sea creatures.

  • They’ve been known to write hockey blogs that tell so many lies, they require a glossary to interpret the chaos.

(okay, I’m finished. Return to your regularly scheduled Canucks insults now…)

2340: We don’t keep a straight face when we talk about Hockeytown anymore.  Too bad half of us have tattoos with that word.  Know anything about tattoos AlanaH?  Most of us are too drunk to pronounce “singularly” much less write it.  Detroit IS lovely in the summer. You should try it during the postseason, since there’s nothing to do in Vancouver past April.

2348: I asked two questions: one about the Monty Babcock Flying Circus and another about Murphy’s extracurricular activities when he visited Vancouver.  I’d give the former a much better chance of getting on the air.

2354: Chris Osgood is better than Roberto Luongo. No not really. That save on Zetterberg was a good one, even though Hank had no choice but to go to the backhand.

Midnite….thanks Gary…ass
:  Seeing the Wings consistently gain the zone on the power play really makes me miss Jason Williams.  Just thinking about him lose the puck every time he tried to bring it up still pisses me off.  Cooke’s hit then Maltby’s open door incident just made for a much more interesting game.  Hopefully AlanaH can stay awake to see it.

0006
:  Baseball dumb in Denver.  Red Sox just won.  Seconds after the final out, security men ring the field.  Ummm….yeah.  Not much chance of the Colorado fans storming the field after they just got swept. 

0009 (Alanah): (stupid military time…) Anyway, Canucks score. (Whoo!) And yeah, I didn’t miss Maltby’s cheap shot… (Gee, how shocking! Ugh)  Which brings me to this for some reason…

0013: Dammit AlanaH…I was just about to look at that link but then Hudler scored, another last minute goal.  That’s gotta hurt just a little.

0015: SRT, we gotta come up with some other device. Only one mention of Chelios’ age.

0023: Good call SRT.  If I was stupid enough to drive I’d have to go get another six pack to play by that rule.  Murphy’s definitely good for at least twenty more drinks.

0028: Jesus Baroque. Isn’t it bad enough that I have to put up with AlanaH and now you?  My tolerance is at least one beer better than your standard high schooler.  That’s what two drunk years at Northern did for me.

0035: Daniels: “Lilja, stumbling a bit…”  Now there’s a stretch.  Anaheim lost to Edmonton tonite, falling to 4-8-1.  What a shame. 

0039 (Alanah): Ya know, I’m listening to the Canucks broadcast and all I’m hearing is how great Detroit is. Geezus… I could use some homerism right now.  Homer commentary is HIGHLY under-rated.

0045: They sound refreshingly honest AlanaH. You should revel in that. I see the Canucks are hitting a bit more.  Wonder if they’ve watched the San Jose tapes from Friday.

0057:  Gotta give Daniels and Murph credit.  They’re right in pointing out the quality ice time Uncle Mike’s giving the kids in the final five minutes.  Meech looks composed and Hudler’s having his best game of the year.

0102:  So the goal doesn’t count, but the puck stays in Detroit’s end, and now a penalty called on Draper.  Either way you look at it that was an amazingly stupid play by Osgood.  Up by two goals? Sure. One…gotta go up the Wing. 

0102 (Alanah): “Refreshingly honest”? Bah. They’re falling down on the job. Like me—and like you, Sailor Boy, for that matter. (P.S. Linden vs Chelios... for some reason the expression “bitch-slap” comes to mind. You just know that someone is going to break a nail…)

0109 (Alanah): Gee, that was so much fun. Glad to know that the cheating, lying dirt-bag ways of Detroit STILL prevail in the NHL.  Some things just never change…! smile

 

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com