Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

We Have Issues

Buckets, Homer, Hasek.  Dater, Roy, Samuelsson.  All that plus Bitter Blues fans.

So, yes, we have issues to discuss.

In no particular order, a few thoughts have been running through my mind the last few days.  I think you need to be made aware what they are.  These don’t require action on your part, just your full agreement.

W2J2 brought up a good point this morning.  We all know Mikael Samuelsson’s shot is about as accurate as a Memphis free throw.  But is there any better evidence of that than the fact Dan Cleary’s eaten nothing but baby food the last two months?  A slap shot from the slot, or just beyond, that hits a fellow forward square in the jaw…while he’s standing up.  Cleary’s 6’1”. He probably saved a life in the crowd by taking one in the face.  Kate’s right. He’s the new Enigma.  If you had to choose, right now, between Hudler and Samuelsson who would it be? Who plays and who sits next to Ted Kulfan while he receives a pedicure in the press box?

Keep in mind why Uncle Mike’s enamored with Enigma II.  Potential.  A2Y Legal Counsel, Okie Jeff, commented earlier…

“73 g/p,  11g,  29 a, 40 pts, +21

Hard to sit a guy who averages over .5 pts night, and is a +21 player.”

And that’s the dilemma.  Samuelsson’s potential to get hot for ten games, or his consistent ability to make me want to line the shots of cheap tequila up in front of me every time he takes a shift.

Charlie Buckets.  That rambunctious bastard played 17 minutes Tuesday, led the team with 5 hits, was a force in the corners and looked like he hasn’t missed a step.  Take that concern off your list of items to stress about.

Speaking of the Train, seats are still available. And, in case you weren’t aware, it’s free.  I bring up the Stress Train in the midst of a four-game winning streak and relative good health because the Anti-Digger wrote a piece this morning that further separates him from the John Hahn Army of Deep Diggers.  What kind of fan are you?

MacLeod’s Red Wings Corner

The pessimist and the optimist have this in common—they are both fans of the Detroit Red Wings. But there are two distinct sides to Hockeytown and these two gents live on opposite sides of the tracks.

The optimist can’t wait for the playoffs to begin in two weeks. Glory awaits. The pessimist wants more time for their team to prepare. There are so many ways to fail.

Me?  I fluctuate between the two…and you know that.  Right now? I’d say I’m optimistic.  And if Homer comes back, I honestly don’t see a team that can beat us.  Franzen’s performance has suddenly given the Wings an additional threat that can’t be ignored.  Both power play units, when Homer’s back, will be dangerous. Every line has grit, scoring and defense.  I really believe Holmstrom is the key, just like he was against Anaheim last year. 

And so the pessimist in me looks at his injury and gets real worried, real fast.  Can the Wings win without him? Yes, but they are remarkably better with him in the lineup because scoring is so much more equally distributed.  With both PP units as lethal as they will be with Homer and Cleary both healthy and Franzen’s new-found scoring touch,  there is no deeper offensive team in the league and a Duck (or Shark) penalty would mean nothing but good things for all of our families. 

Speaking of pessimism.  Uncle Mike says he’d like to play Hasek most of the remaining five regular season games.  That’s nice. Of course the fact that he’s on anti-biotics to combat the flu?  Yeah, that might affect something.  How many of you think we won’t see any of Chris Osgood this postseason?  What are the chances of that?  I’m not talking about abilities or composure or insanity.  Hasek’s got all those.  But I just don’t think he’s going to make it through the entire tournament healthy. I’ll bet Osgood gets at least two starts.

So Patrick Roy ordered his kid to wobble down the ice, engage the opposing goalie, pummel him while he turtled.  Johnny Roy then flips off the crowd and exits.  Patty and little Johnny both get suspended.  Uproar, a furor.  Shocked disbelief.  Horrible parent.  Disruptive coach.  An asswipe of a family.  Whatever.  It’s junior hockey. I don’t care what either Roy does.  Patrick’s a buffoon, a sideshow.  He was a piece of trash teammate and the one thing he did, other than win a whole lot of hockey games, of redeeming value was slide the puck down to Vernon after his 300th win—-on March 26th, 1997.

Here’s why we mention him today though.  Denver’s either going to (a) miss the playoffs—not likely, or (b) get knocked out in the first round—highly, pleasurably likely.  When either happens, Joel Quenneville’s gone.  You know where I’m going with this.  That organ-I-zation is just classless enough that they’d hire Roy, and I believe they will.  Next season. 

Please…make that happen.  Can you imagine Uncle Mike and Brittle Patty with only ten feet and a panel of fiberglass between them?  You thought it was fun watching that asswipe get pulled during his last conference final game?  Imagine the fun of watching him burn from behind the bench. 

Don’t lose that train of thought because we’re not done with the Dive.  The sobbing apologist took on Dion Phaneuf the other day. Called him a punk.  Dater was taken to task by readers so he changed his blog post, toned it down, backed away from his comments.  Claimed it was his blog, his right to do so.  Whatever. 

Today, he posted some four month old YouTube deal, video of Phaneuf singing at a karaoke bar.  Again, have at it.  Whatever gets you going Adrienne.  The funny part? He’s being BLASTED by the readers, Dive fans and all others. Funny stuff.

Admit it you love him. You can be honest. Going into the most important game of the season for the Aves and your in your cubicle fixated on the Dion. Hands on the table Adam.

Comment by Robbob — March 26, 2008 @ 2:53 pm

Don’t really get the “adam” thing, but funny nonetheless.

Speaking of punks, and I mean bitter little whining men who fit the street definition of “bitches”, let’s move on to Blues fans.  No team has been owned by the Wings over the years like St. Louis. Regular season, postseason, off season…any time of year.  Lots of big talk at the Blues blogs and message boards claiming St. Louis is going to exact revenge on Aaron Downey tomorrow night. I’m sure he’s shaking.  I hope he turns down every fight and laughs at them as he skates by their bench of goons and has-beens.  Let the Blues fans continue to whine as their season ends, again, before the playoffs start. 

Watching the Wings beat Colorado is fun because of the rivalry that used to be.  Watching the Wings beat the Bitter Blues is comforting because it’s normal, expected and symbolic of the way things should be in life.  Stay Bitter St. Louis.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com