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Abel to Yzerman

Stress Train Tickets Officially On Sale Today

Chris Osgood’s starting the All Star game.  Just as I predicted he would way back in September.  Ok, no I didn’t.  But I did predict Mike Babcock would open his mouth to the media yesterday and end up sounding like a Latin teacher on crack.

St. James

“I’m pretty sure it’s my call,” Babcock said. “And I’m not leaning—I know.”

I’m leaning toward something else and here’s what I know:  Sundin, Hossa, Fors-flopping-berg?  If they were off the table a month ago, they’re on it today. 

‘Cuz, you know…Hank’s back’s a-hurtin’ and the stress train is at the station, two months early.


Here’s what we know:  the back thing isn’t going away.  Maybe ever.  Consider him out of the All Star Game, if that matters to you or the other 2 percent of the nation who are going to watch it.  That’s got to be a done deal, or a fait accompli as they’d say in Denver.  After that?  I say sit him until…March? Mid February?  It really doesn’t matter because anything can set that hummer off.  First I’d heard of this…

St. James

He missed five games in late December after aggravating his back while picking up his laundry bag.

My point? Sure, go ahead and sit him and he won’t aggravate it playing hockey.  But, while you’re at it, immobilize him completely.  Put one of Hasek’s straight jackets on him, put him in John Travolta’s plastic bubble (oh…look out.  You don’t remember the “Boy In the Plastic Bubble”? Classic).  Seal him up until the playoffs.  No movement whatsoever. 

My second point?  It makes no difference whether he plays or not because he could hurt it again, or worse, doing anything.  Yes, Emma…anything. 

Oh, but if he plays?  Yeah.  That would be a target right underneath “Zetterberg.”  As Chris so astutely put it in the comment section here yesterday….eff me.

So what to do? What to do?  I say sit him now and sit him often. Every back to back.  The ELEVEN STRAIGHT GAMES against the Central Little Gary’s given us to close the season might be a nifty time to rest too.  Real quick:  what an amazing way to get Detroit pumped for the postseason.  Spend the entire final month of the regular season playing teams we’re almost guaranteed not to see in the playoffs. By the time the first round starts lawn jarts will have officially supplanted hockey in Detroit.  Thanks Gary…ass.

Back to Z.  Thankfully, Aristotle has a few words of wisdom as to what the organ-I-zation believes is the right course of action.

St. James…again

“That’s not my business. I mean, it is my business, but he knows his body better than I know it.”

I don’t really have to tell you who said that do I?

If Detroit had intended to spend a little dough at the deadline on a deal for a dman…those plans might be out the window.  There’s not a forward out there who can replace what Zetterberg brings to the table, and Hank’s probably going to be healthy for the playoffs (thanks to your pal and mine Mr. Cortisone), but you have to know Kenny and Jimmy and Mikey and Stevie and Mikey are all looking around at a few guys they may not have seriously considered a few weeks ago.

So that’s, you know, kind of a sucky way to start your All Star Week. 

Even if your starter’s Chris Osgood.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com