Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Stick It Mitch

When I was growing up, a young innocent impressionable Sailor-to-be in mid-Michigan, I liked Mitch Albom.  No, that’s too weak.  I read everything he wrote and I didn’t care about the subject.  Read his books several times, the compilations of his columns.  They were called “Live Albom” and I think there were four of them.  I was a Mitch Albom fan and so were my friends.  All of us avid followers of all Michigan teams.

We read his stuff on the young Yzerman-led Wings, Kirk Gibson, Joe Dumars and Barry Sanders.  Ate up every word.

But then Mitch strayed.  He strayed to tv and radio and piano and politics and descriptions of how he spent his Tuesday afternoons.

And he lost his focus on the job that made him what he was.  I got news for you Mitch.  Rumor has it that Billy Joel’s writing classical music now.  I’m not buying that garbage, and I’m not real sure I like his old stuff as much as I used to either.  His stories about Virginia? The catholic girl who started much too late? They don’t ring as true to me now.

Catching my drift Mitch?  I haven’t read your stuff in a long time either, and I don’t plan to.  You’re a bandwagoner of the highest order, jumping on the Wing wagon at playoff time, turning your little cliche’d phrases, pretending you’re a puck or an octopus or a real sports writer.

Nope.  Not gonna read your swill.  Well, I did today, along with many other Wing fans and Michigan residents.  Yes, Mitch, we read your column pleading for an answer to the attendance problems.

Let me ask you this Mitch.  Ever take out a loan to put food on the table?  Ever stress about what you’re gonna do when the battery dies because you know you don’t have the cash to get a new one and you still have to get out there and look for a job?  Hey Mitch. I’m curious.  Any idea what it’s like to have to say no to your kid when they ask you for something, because you don’t have the money?

If you can’t say you’ve done any of that, don’t tell us we should be spending mortgage money on Wing tickets.  You write your columns on the plane to New York for the Sports Reporters, or in the comforts of your Bloomfield Hills or Grosse Pointe den.  So, don’t tell Wing fans how to spend the money they earn.

Attendance issues used to piss me off, Mitch.  And I’ve written about them here.  But you don’t seem too genuine, as usual.  Got a suggestion: stick to the stuff you actually like to do, instead of writing about the Wings because you feel like you have to.

I don’t know if those tickets weren’t sold (bad) or just not used (worse). I know only that if the Wings win seven more games, if they capture the Cup, if they keep up this excellence and they do it with this many empty seats, we don’t deserve the name Hockeytown. And it’ll be our loss.

One more thing Mitch.  You’re not one of us, so spare us the “we” and the “our”.  You don’t relate to us.  You did once, but not now. 

Note: if you want more commentary from Wing fans who have no more use for the Delicate Genius, go here.

 

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com