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Abel to Yzerman

Michigan To Dean Lombardi: Shove It, Masshole

There is a lot riding on today’s Wings game against the Kings at JLA.

This morning the Wings are in playoff position for the first time since Jobu decided to curse us.  Tonight everything could change.

Today’s game, as every game these days, is a must-win.  Even more so because we are playing the Kings and that means it is one of those “4-point” games everyone has been talking about recently.  In the dogfight for playoff position, this game is as important as they get during the regular season.

If the Wings win, they will be 7th in the Bestern Conference.  If they lose, they will find themselves in 9th position, once again on the outside of the playoff picture looking in.  I don’t need to tell you that.  The 19 know the implications.  As do the players on both squads.

LA Kings Insider

Sean O’Donnell: “That’s a huge game Saturday. It’s still January, so it’s not crazy, but that’s a big game Saturday. I know Detroit is going to be excited for it. I read a quote somewhere that, as long as they beat the teams that are ahead of them, those are the games they’re really focusing on. Basically, whoever wins Saturday is going to have that eighth spot. It’s exciting, going into Detroit and knowing that we’re right there with them, and competing no matter where you are.”

If there wasn’t enough on the line, it has gotten personal as the Kings’ President/GM Dean Lombardi has opened his big Masshole mouth and trashed Michigan hockey.

Impossible you say?  How could anyone question the amazing hockey legacy of Michigan?  Before I get to the full quote, which confirms Lombardi’s Masshole status, I’d like to point you to HHOF reporter Helene Elliott’s column which includes reaction from Kings’ star Jack Johnson, who is “irate” about what the Masshole said:

Helene Elliott

“I’m a Michigan man. I’m very proud of it. I wouldn’t want to have it any other way,” Johnson said, “Michigan has produced more NHL players than any other school. Even the U.S. development program, people rip that and they just don’t know anything about it and don’t know what they’re talking about.”

Berenson, Johnson said, “is one of the finest coaches and men that I’ve met. For my general manager to rip me as a person and criticize me as a person and as a player and call me an awful hockey player is irresponsible and unprofessional.”

A spokesman for the Kings said Lombardi’s quotes in the interview were accurate.

Wow.  Serious shite right there.  And from Helene Elliott, a groundbreaking female journalist that broke down barriers to women in the locker room.  She is no Delicate Genius, she writes articles based on hard work, thorough research, and first-hand experience.  My kind of journalist.

The Masshole’s own star player describes him as “irresponsible and unprofessional”, adding the Masshole doesn’t know what he is talking about.  Now we’ve been accused of all those things here at A2Y, granted, but we only have faux-integrity and press passes made out of cardboard and crayon.  We are not the President/GM of a NHL team.  What would cause Johnson to sound off like that?

Below is the full quote from the Masshole.

I want you to ruminate on it all day and let the bile build.  Mull it over in your mind and tap your inner rage-aholic.  Let the anger grow as you access the darkest recesses of your soul.  See a puppy on the street?  Kick It.  See a baby with a candy?  Take the candy and bitchslap the baby.  See an old lady struggling to cross the street?  Throw her into the gutter and beat her with her own cane.  Take no prisoners, give no quarter.  By 19:00, when the puck drops, I want you to be fully homicidal.  Just like the Wings need to be.

Frozen Royalty

During a recent interview, Kings President/General Manager Dean Lombardi explained that Johnson is learning his craft…belatedly.

“This guy has never had any coaching [at the University of Michigan],” Lombardi said. “Jack just did what he wanted.”

“Michigan is the worst.” Lombardi added. “For hockey people, if you’ve got a choice between a kid—all things being equal—one’s going to Michigan and one’s going to Boston University, you all want your player [going to Boston University]. Michigan’s players—[head coach] Red [Berenson] doesn’t coach. It’s ‘do what you want.’ He gets the best players in the country.”...

“Here again, you’ve got a kid who’s got to change his game and he can change a game, going end-to-end, getting you out of your own end,” Lombardi noted. “It was like, ‘you’re not good enough at that not to do these other things that you’ve never done.’ Now try and convince him of that after [he has] been told how great [he is throughout his] life, [he has] played in the US Development Program, [he was] at Michigan, everything [was] great, great, great. Now [he is] in the pros and it’s ‘what do you mean? I’m Jack Johnson.’”

“He struggled with it,” Lombardi added. “‘What do you mean, you’re criticizing me?’ Yeah, [I am]. When these kids come up now, this might seem totally abnormal to you, because anyone else growing up probably got slapped around [figuratively speaking] as you were learning your career or anything you’re learning. But these kids are all told how great they are.”

It.  Is.  On.  Bitches.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com